Fortunately, with slow steps, my wife was able to return to normal life, but, of course, with many restrictions and constant monitoring. My mother's condition is stable and not very good, but thank all the forces she is alive, and this is the main thing for me now.
I came back, and it wasn't easy... I wasn't here for a long time, so I decided to tell you about the reasons for my long absence. For some, it may be too long, and someone will say that I did not behave in a business-like way, and this is all my problems – I agree with this opinion. I would have thought so myself... I always considered myself strong and didn't run away from problems, but this time I showed human weakness and almost gave up some time ago. I decided to share my tragedies with you not to justify my behavior, but to tell those who are interested in it what happened to me recently. And most importantly, to tell you how important it is to appreciate what we have! I realized this from my example…
Speaking briefly about myself, I was used to keeping everything under control (as I thought), and I was confident in the future. I am engaged in trading, using my own experience and developments, and also conduct several projects in this area for my friends and clients. This brings a good income, and I'm used to almost all problems can be solved – "you know everything, and you can do everything, you can do it." A single mother raised me, and I understood how difficult this is for a woman. My motivation has always been to become an adult sooner and help her in turn, which I eventually did. I say this because I want you to understand how much I love my mother - she gave me everything. But it so happened that recently I almost lost my mother to a heart attack. Money was powerless because it was impossible to operate due to severe damage to the heart vessels. The risk of surgery was too high, and it was a shock to me. One minute you haven't thought about the problems yet, and then you almost lost the person closest to you… I kept working to distract myself from the sad thoughts. It was a difficult time, and it was only after a while that we began to come to terms with what had happened and began to live on supportive therapy. But, unfortunately, this was not the last test…
My wife and I were expecting a baby. It was supposed to be a girl. This was a long-awaited event in our life; we have already given her a name... The pregnancy proceeded normally (this was our second pregnancy), and we were not worried and waited for a joyful event. But during childbirth, a tragedy occurred that turned my life upside down for a long time. My wife started bleeding during childbirth, but thanks to good doctors, her life was miraculously saved. But our newborn daughter could not be saved, and we lost the child. I don't have words to describe my condition at that time. It was like a nightmare. I vaguely remember that period – the brain turns on self-defense at such moments. We went through various rehabilitation, medications, doctors, hospitals... and everything in a circle.
For a long time, I couldn't see the numbers on the monitor screen. Exchange quotation, program codes, everything blurred before my eyes. Even small edits that needed to be made to the code were not given to me. I have many years of programming experience and the mindset of a programmer, and I don't even always need a computer for this - I build the code in my head, scrolling through how and what will be calculated. And then only remains to type the code in the computer mechanically. For the first time, I felt helpless. When I buried my unborn child, I fell into a semi-delirious state and lost the ability to build anything at all in my head. We fought for the life and health of my mother and my wife.
I didn't even go to the forum to avoid getting upset and reading angry comments about my long absence. I knew that I had nothing to object to and that I had shown weakness by delving into my personal (and my family's) tragedies. I decided that I would return when I was ready to continue my work. That time has come – I'm back. Thank you to everyone who supported me, and thanks to you to those who scolded me. Now I am full of energy to implement all my ideas. You will not be disappointed!
My post is a cry of the soul, like in a psychologist's office. I think I'll delete it later because it's too personal and explicit for me. I'm sorry to burden you with all this information. But all this has changed my attitude to time and life. What was it all about, and what did I mean by that?
When a person lives today, he is usually often dissatisfied with his life. We all feel that we are missing something, that we need something else, and then happiness will finally come. We are all in a hurry in our Affairs and worries in search of happiness. But one day you realize that happiness is already there, next to you. This is your family and friends who are always there, always support you. That's what's really important. It is important that your family and friends are alive and well! No need to spend time (which may not be so much) on disputes and showdown! Are your relatives near you? So you are happy, and we must and can do everything else ourselves. In dreams of the future, appreciate the moments of the present. Appreciate those who are close to you and do not offend each other!
Good Luck & Big Profits!