Interesting and Humour - page 1362
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The year is 2078.
- Dad, can I charge your card 99 quid? There's a book I have to pay for...
- Oh, what's the book?
- Oh, that one. Dostoyevsky.
- So why buy it? We have it.
- Yeah? What file?
- What's the file got to do with it? It's right there on the shelf.
- Whew. It's a paper book!
- So what? I read it when I was your age.
- When I was your age, when I was your age... There's no search. How am I supposed to find the quotes? There's no audio accompaniment. There's no animated pictures either. It's just text, and you can't even change the font. What? They'll make fun of me at school! Read it yourself.
- All right. Here, take the DVD. I bought it fifteen years ago.
- What? A DVD? How do you expect me to read this antique? Take it to the Polytechnic Museum. You'll offer me a Dostoevsky perforated tape, too!
- If you're so clever, go on the net and download it for free.
- A free download?!
- Well, yeah. What else could it be? Dostoevsky's books haven't been copyrighted for years. I'm sure it's lying around somewhere.
- Come on, Dad! Maybe at the beginning of the century you could download everything for free. Haven't you heard that it's been five years since the copyright on all books was permanently transferred to the American Book Publishers Association? Or do you want me to be imprisoned for life as a member of the Dimitri Sklyarov cult?
- Well, Dostoyevsky isn't American! This has nothing to do with American publishers.
- Who cares? You're not an anti-globalist, are you, Dad?
- No, I'm not! Well, son, it's a shame to spend almost 100 dollars for a file. Well, you better ask your classmates for the file. They're sure to have one. And then you'll give them a file of your own.
- Aha! If they give me their Dostoevsky, where will I read it?
- What do you mean? They keep their copy at home and you keep yours here.
- Well, you're completely retarded. You can only read a book from the computer you bought it from. And the polarization code will be different. Anyway, Dad, give me the money! I'll buy myself a proper book.
- All right. Here's a one-time password to take 99 quid out of our account. In our day, $100 was a lot of money.
- Okay. Downloaded. Thanks.
- Hey, let me see those pictures, son. What are they? I don't think that was in the novel.
- Well, they're banners. Without the banners, the book costs 699 quid.
The open file is full of flashing ads.
- Hey, son, why can't you see the novel's text? Should we wait for the banners to disappear?
- Well, you look like you fell from the moon. You'll be waiting a hundred years. You have to read the text through polarizing glasses. Without glasses, you can only see the ads!
- What's that for?
- What for? So that no one but the person who paid for the book can read it! Imagine if I bought a book and someone without buying anything could read it over my shoulder.
- That's ridiculous. Well, what if I wore glasses, too?
- Oh, come on! The file's only set up for my glasses. The other glasses have a different polarization code.
- All right, give me your glasses. I'll look at the book through them.
- How can you do that? They can't identify you by your retina. You can't see anything through them except the message that you're wearing someone else's glasses! All right, Dad, don't get in the way of your nonsense! I need to read this quickly before my license runs out, or else I'll have to renew the lease on the file or the book will destroy itself. Don't interfere, I'm reading.
Three hours later...
- Phew! That's it. I've read it!
- How did you read it all? In three hours?!
- Well, yeah. I could have read it faster if there weren't a commercial break every half hour.
- I still don't believe it! Who, for instance, is Svidrigailov?
- Who's who?
- Ah, it all makes sense. Who is Luzhin? Who is Sonya Marmeladova?
- Oh, you're a fool! How should I know! I read the Home Edition. All I have is how Raskolnikov killed an old woman with an axe and then turned himself in. For the rest you have to buy the Professional Edition or the Enterprise Edition. We don't have that much money.
ij_adult (c)
Nothing restricts your actions like the phrase: "do what you want".