Interesting and Humour - page 1029
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Continuing the same theme in the morning is not good ... But where was the last time you saw a picture like this: people going to work in the morning, working in the afternoon and driving home from work in the evening? That's the way their country lives in cities. The last time I saw such a picture was in Switzerland (sorry for comparing Belarus with Switzerland).
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And here? Here in Kaliningrad if somebody works in the daytime, he either got a job with a petty bank or had to go and work somewhere... :)
You go to ATM to withdraw money from a card - and they're all busy - all the money is on the card, and it takes so long ... Where do people get so much money and why do they always have to put it on cards? You wait for hours ... Then you go to the bank to make a payment (private), you stand in line for a few hours (people have been taking out loans and there they are). They send you to the currency control, you go to the office, they ask "Why do you send USD 60 to the UK?", you give them a photocopy of the order, they ask "How can I contact you? I say my email in English letters. Currency control "chi-what?". I say, "English with just a twist like that... "foreign g is like a russian uppercase d ..... then the letter a in a circle, and yahoo dot com." Currency control: "chi-chivo?" I say: "igrek, a, ash, two o, dot, s, o and m".
I was talking about Kaliningrad... by the way, the city is not considered the world's biggest hole :)
When you go to the bank a few days later, you stand in a queue (people arrange loans and there they are) and ask "How is my payment?" They answer "it was made on Friday". I - "How was it on Friday? I sent it on Monday" and they say - "It was sent on Monday, it was accepted by the exchange control on Friday" and they give me some paper with the text 30 USD on it. I asked 'why 30? I sent 60'. She looks on her computer for a long time and says that I sent 30 and shows me a piece of paper with my signature on it.
I say - "I should have sent 60, I wrote it as 60".
She says, "Do you understand that this is your fault? You need to check any paperwork the bank gives you".
I - "Yes, it's my fault, I won't do it again. I'm sorry. Let's send another 30, but I will not go to the currency control ... You go there yourself, please."
She - "your Visa card, please... Well... I hope there's money in it."
I said, "why?"
She - "We charge 20 dollars for each transfer, but why do you pay from an account and not a card?"
I - "They showed up that it was not my card - the addresses did not match. Maybe bank cards are not accepted in the UK?"
She - "we are Russia's leading bank, we accept everything... ta-da... Your passport? ... your address is your card and the postcode is yours!"
I - "can you tell me what spelling of my address in English is behind the card? Lenin Avenue, or Leninskiy prospect, or what else?"
She - "It's written in Russian, like in your passport. There's no English address spelling on the card."
I'm like, "OK, send 30 in a row, take another 20."
...I'm like, "OK, send 30 more, shoot another 20".
I come to change my international driving licence. There is a queue of about 100 people. I took the queue. I went out for a smoke, went back in - I lost my queue! I said in anger: "Oh God, I have to stand here again", and a girl nearby said: "You should have written the queue number on your hand". I remembered how in the days of the vodka crisis I stood in a queue for books, standing for twenty-four hours (there was no vodka or books in the shops - the queue) - so my hands were all full of numbers :)
I found a queue, took some papers and went to the photo. There are two young women in uniform. They take photos. One of them says: "Let's take a picture again - you look like a bandit". I say: "It was my haircut yesterday". They take another picture... The other one says 'relax - they don't shoot here' and the whole police force laughs.
I came out with my new license ... I read it and went to their information window. I asked them "Is it okay if my name is written as Sergei on my Visa card and my new passport says Sergei in accordance with the new rules for writing names, and you wrote Sergej on my international driving licence ... If I rent a car in Cambodia, for example, will I have problems? They looked at me like I was an idiot and didn't answer.
I go outside... there's a very fat guy standing there and he gets very indignant - his face didn't fit into the photo: the centre of his face was there but his cheeks didn't show up. I reassured him "look at my photo" - he looks and calms down :)
I come to change my international driving licence. There is a queue of about 100 people. I took the queue. I went out for a smoke, went back in - I lost my queue! I said in anger: "Oh God, I have to stand here again", and a girl nearby said: "You should have written the queue number on your hand". I remembered how in the days of the vodka crisis I stood in a queue for books, standing for twenty-four hours (there was no vodka or books in the shops - the queue) - so my hands were all full of numbers :)
I found a queue, took some papers and went to the photo. There are two young women in uniform. They take photos. One of them says: "Let's take a picture again - you look like a bandit". I say: "It was my haircut yesterday". They take another picture... The other one says 'relax - they don't shoot here' and the whole police force laughs.
I came out with my new license ... I read it and went to their information window. I asked them "Is it okay if my name is written as Sergei on my Visa card and my new passport says Sergei in accordance with the new rules for writing names, and you wrote Sergej on my international driving licence ... If I rent a car in Cambodia, for example, will I have problems? They looked at me like I was an idiot and didn't answer.
I go outside... there's a very fat guy standing there and he gets very indignant - his face didn't fit into the photo: the centre of his face was there but his cheeks didn't show up. I say to him, "look at my photo" - he looks and calms down :)
I especially liked this one
(there was no vodka or books in the shops - there were queues) - so my hands were all full of numbers :)
All is not lost on us yet ))
- My name isn't Katya!
- OK, but that's not what I asked!
Novaya Gazeta was approached by officers of the FSB central apparatus (names are known to the editors) and told that their department refuses to go on duty almost at full strength and they are even ready to put their service credentials on the table
http://www.novayagazeta.ru/inquests/57374.html
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