Interesting and Humour - page 4821

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Uladzimir Izerski:

If you look at the source. The girl was not eaten by anyone. She was away from the boy.


Thank you, Cap.

 
All right... I give up. My eldest granddaughter is 18 and my youngest is finishing school this year. My eldest grandchild is in 9th grade and my youngest isn't going to school yet. I've got it all ahead of me...
 
In the 1990s, an ultrasound machine was sent to a polyclinic on an order. The machine was Japanese, sophisticated and terribly expensive. The machine is there, but there are no specialists. But it did not stay in the boxes for long. One shrewd doctor, with the permission of the doctor in charge (apparently, the money was piled on two), began to render fee-based services to determine the sex of the unborn child. He didn't even turn the machine on so as not to break anything stupidly. After wiggling the sensor on my belly, he said at random whether it was a boy or a girl, depending on his mood. But he always wrote the opposite value in the logbook, numbered and stamped by the polyclinic. About half the time, purely statistically, he guessed. Of those who were unlucky, not everyone came to the showdown. It was usually the outraged fathers who had been promised a son. The doctor nonchalantly, pulled out a magazine, found the date and name and showed the disgruntled father the entry - "girl". After which he calmly announced: "Your wife made a mistake, but do not judge, she is a woman, she is allowed". The business did not last long, as a specialist sent in broke the whole elaborate scheme.
 
Renat Akhtyamov:

asterisk

new hats, for that matter, can be glued to something that can be filled in with a correct answer

but you can't glue a ticket together.

It's a newspaper printout, not a ticket.

 

A German law professor had the entire class fail in a written exam with a problem like this: Resolve a dispute between two neighbours: the branches of the apple trees in one neighbour's garden were overhanging the tulip beds of the other, and the falling apples were breaking the fragile flower stems.

One part of the students sided with the tulip lover, the other defended the gardener. All together shone with their profound knowledge of the intricacies of the puzzling German law.

As a result it turned out: apples fall in the autumn and tulips bloom in the spring. Therefore, the situation created by the scumbag professor would never happen in life.

All protests were countered coldly by the professor: you have to use your common sense before you remember articles and paragraphs.

 

About holidaymakers in Turkey. Germans get up at five in the morning to put their towels on the still vacant sun loungers, then quietly go to sleep, rest, go for a walk...

Russians usually get up at three in the afternoon, go to the sun loungers and think: "What a great service in Turkey - sun loungers with German towels! "

***

I'm on the underground one day, and suddenly we stop halfway through. We're standing for about 5 minutes, some guy jumps up, presses the driver's call button and yells, "Come on, let's go, don't just stand there!"

To which the driver says after a while: "Don't yell, man, I got a flat tyre."

***

The foreman gives the painterstwo cans of paint and the job is to paint a wall. Lunch. The men are too lazy to work and want a drink. They decide to drink one of the cans. To get away, they smear paint on the face of a horse standing nearby. The foreman arrives at the end of the day: everybody's drunk and the wall is unpainted.

- Why wasn't it finished?

- There wasn't enough paint.

- I even gave you extra for the fence.

- So the horse was drunk, he's standing there with paint all over his face.

- He's still alive, the bastard ate a pallet of bricks a week ago.

 

Ducks

Rubber duck travellers.
On 21 January 1992, in the Pacific Ocean, a dry cargo ship carrying 30,000 rubber ducklings from Hong Kong to Tacoma, USA, was hit by a hurricane, causing the ducks to sail free. Three months later, the first 20,000 reached the shores of Indonesia, Australia and South America. The remaining ten thousand, a year later, passed through Alaska and, after another three years, reached the Pacific Ocean in Japan.
But the story doesn't end there, some of the pioneering ducks passed through the Bering Strait and froze into the Arctic ice, where they continued to move at a rate of about a mile a day. In 2000, they appear in the North Atlantic. The ice melts and the ducks continue their voyage, only to eventually return to North America from the Atlantic Ocean side in 2003.
After another five years, the last of the lost ducks were found in the UK and honoured by a publication in a local geographical journal.
Nowadays, sea ducks are sought after by collectors. A book was published in 2011, estimating that a total of 28,800 birds have been tracked.
The movements of the ducks were followed by the American oceanographer Curtis Ebbsmeyer. This mishap has caught the attention of the international oceanographic, meteorological and geographical communities, as it has made it possible to visualise the movement of ocean currents. The ducks also mingled with various piles of debris and varied in colour.
After the incident, NASA specialists decided to use the experience to observe underwater currents. The toys were submerged in water near one of Greenland's largest glaciers. A note was placed in each duck with the message that the finder would receive a prize by sending a letter about the find to a specified address.


 
Valeriy Yastremskiy:

...a dry cargo ship carrying 30,000 rubber ducklings...

...Nowadays, sea ducks are the subject of collectors' searches. In 2011 a book was published in which it was estimated that a total of 28800 birds could be traced...

Has that many ducklings been found? Are there 1,200 left to be found? Someone made an effort to add their own.

 

this is the way to do it !

search, read, analyse - you don't need it all!


 
Iurii Tokman:

this is the way to do it !

search, read, analyse - we don't need it all!


In just 11 minutes we found a craftsman willing to roll out such a solution...

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