Interesting and Humour - page 4614

 
Vladimir M.:

I understand that you could try working as a subject photographer or fast food photographer. You can master Photoshop or paint.net and offer your services to online shops or cafes.

If you like photography, you can combine pleasure with profit.

I used to take pictures with my old Canon A560. I shoot video with it too.
In general, yes, when I need something to photograph, for some reason they call me.

 
Phone call.
- Hello! Is this Mario's Pizza?
- Uh, no, sir. It's Pizza by Googloe.
- Did I dial the wrong number?
- No, sir. Googlé bought a pizza shop from Mario's.
- Oh, good. Then I'd like to order a pizza.
- Okay, sir. For you, the usual?
- "The usual"?! Do you know what my "usual" is?
- According to our records, the last 15 times you ordered 12 slices of double-cheese, sausage and thick-dough pizza.
- Um... Well, yeah. That's what I'd like to order this time.
- May I suggest that you order 8 slices with ricotta, arugula and tomato this time?
- No, I hate vegetables.
- But you have high cholesterol.
- How do you know that?
- We have your blood work for the last seven years.
- Maybe so, but I don't need a vegetable pizza. I'm already on medication for high cholesterol.
- But you weren't taking your medication on a regular basis. Four months ago you bought a pack from Drugsale Network with only 30 pills.
- I bought more from another pharmacy.
- It doesn't show up on your credit card, sir.
- I paid in cash.
- But according to your bank statement, you didn't withdraw that much money.
- I have another source of money.
- But there's no record of any other source of income on your tax return.
- OK! ! To hell with your pizza! I'm tired of Googlе, Facebook, Twittеr and Whаtѕаr. I'm going to an island with no Internet, no cell service, and no one to spy on me!
- I understand, sir, but you need to renew your passport. It expired five weeks ago...
 

A doctor comes into the waiting room where patients are waiting for him and announces

- Dear patients, I am not allowed to announce your names because of the new rules on personal data protection, so I will use non-personal data!

Patient with syphilis and clap, please come in!

 
Don't be surprised at the average wage statistics! In a set of 1 elephant and 10 ants, the average ant can weigh up to 500 kg.
 

The colours of the rainbow are known to go in the following order: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue and purple.

In my youth, my neighbour Uncle Kolya taught us how to remember the colours of the rainbow:

"When You Hunt a Woman, Close Your Eyes, Sit and Fantasise."

 

Just took it off - soar, but today with apple and carrot.

No one will be here today or tomorrow, so all 15pc will fly in one snout :)

Don't take that as a temptation)

 

.

 
Vitaly Muzichenko:

Just took it off - soar, but today with apple and carrot.

No one will be here today or tomorrow, so all 15pc will fly in one snout :)

Don't take that as a temptation)

Oh, come on! You've been drooling for two days :)

 
Vitaly Muzichenko:

Just took it off - steaming, but today with apple and carrot.

Vitalyna write down the recipe.

 
Vladimir Karputov:

Oh, come on! You've been drooling for two days :)

It's not as complicated as it looks :)

I have a simple bread maker, no frills, no gimmicks. I have a 36-litre electric oven, it's the simplest, not even backlit, but its capacity is pretty high.

We take 2 pans, one for mixing and the other for heating and whisking. Weigh the flour on a kitchen scale (comes with the bread maker) and add the weight directly into the "bowl" of the bread maker. Then we sifted it through a sieve on a newspaper, as our grandmothers did.

Melted margarine, heated kefir/milk/ whey (whatever is available), added the wet yeast, beat the egg with a fork and mix everything in the dish, adding sugar and a pinch of salt.

The whole procedure takes about 15 minutes.

Pour this into the flour bowl of the bread maker and put it into "Dough" mode, I have the program that grinds it for 14 minutes. Let the dough stand for half an hour, but you can do it for half a day, and then we start making pies, rolls and buns.

Moulding 15 patties takes ~20 minutes, baking ~45 minutes.

The total man-hours: 15 min. preparation of dough + 20 min. baking = a little over half an hour, you can do during a break though every day.

I bake 3-4 times a week.


Before I remember this procedure, knead the dough by hand - even my ears in flour, then bake in a gas oven, where you constantly need to turn the tray. While all done, and there is no desire to eat :)


Iurii Tokman:

Vitaly, write down the recipe.

Look and choose on the web, there are many different ones, I have a recipe for ~950 grams of ready made dough = 15 patties

Reason: