Interesting and Humour - page 4512
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- Dad, have you grown up yet?
- Yes, I'm not growing any more.
- Then why are we feeding you?
A call to the husband: - Hello, darling, will you pick me up?
- No!
- Why not?
- Well, yesterday you bought SUCCESSFUL shoes, with a heel of 15 cm, which does not feel at all! Now you have to walk. And it's from the hip, honey, from the hip.
***
You come home, make coffee, sit in a chair and there's silence... And it's up to each one of us to choose what it is: Loneliness or Freedom!
***
Got on the phone to tech support, said "Our call is very important to you, wait for the caller's question" and started improvising quietly on the piano.
***
A man comes in to apply for a job. His boss asks him:
- "Do you drink vodka? The guy comes in:
- Do you have any?
- No, I'm just asking, basically.
- Ah-ah-ah. No, in principle, I don't drink.
A call to the husband: - Hello, darling, will you pick me up?
- No!
- Why not?
- Well, yesterday you bought SUCCESSFUL shoes, with a heel of 15 cm, which does not feel at all! Now you have to walk. And it's from the hip, honey, from the hip.
***
You come home, make coffee, sit in a chair and there's silence... And it's up to each one of us to choose what it is: Loneliness or Freedom!
***
Got on the phone to tech support, said "Our call is very important to you, wait for the caller's question" and started quietly improvising on the piano.
***
A man comes in to apply for a job. His boss asks him:
- "Do you drink vodka? The guy comes in:
- Do you have any?
- No, I'm just asking, basically.
- Ah-ah-ah. No, in principle, I don't drink.
yeah,
snotty boy's a slippery type!
- And what are your plans for the fall, old man?
- Drinking.
- Let me see, that's what you were planning for the summer, isn't it?
- What's the point of talking to a man who can't grasp the semantic
between the extravagance of summer drinking and the existential depressiveness of autumn binge drinking!
Ooh great dialogue. Listen :)
- We thought our cat didn't walk at all, we've been carrying him to the toilet on our hands for three years now!
***
Before you go out, make up the sofa bed. When you get home, you'll see how wise you've been.
A man approaches:
- How much is the whole barrel?
- Well count: two hundred litres, thirty kopeks a mug. One hundred and twenty rubles.
- Here's your money, go have a rest, have fun. Come back in the evening for an empty barrel.
- All right!
The salesman leaves. The man unfolds the poster "Free Kvas".
People were surprised at first. Then they started coming. Then a queue formed. Then a long queue. Then a crowd. Matt, shouting. Some cut in line, some didn't get enough. A fight breaks out. Stabbing.
The militia came. The crowd was dispersed. The instigators go to jail. The guy's in there, too.
They start pushing him around:
- Why did you provoke the fight?
- I didn't mean to!
- You've been selling illegal kvass?
- He was giving people kvass for free. We have witnesses.
- So the kvass was stolen!
- I bought it with my own money. I'm entitled.
- Maybe you're crazy.
- I'm normal. I got a certificate, too.
- All right, man, we'll let you go. Just tell me why you did it. Why'd you spend your money? What's the point?
- All right, I'll tell you. I'm not a young man anymore. I won't live to see communism. I wanted to see what it would be like... Under communism...