Interesting and Humour - page 1340

 
Mischek:
Ten emoticons to compensate for the stupidity of these endless anecdotes is clearly not enough. Try fifty.
And you haven't even bothered to count the emoticons.
 

Don't judge me if this video has already been posted I just couldn't help myself.

 
//complaining to a team member about hosting
xxx: Again with the whole hosting thing
xxx: Oh. Just complained - it worked
yyy: super fast support
xxx: Lol, do you work there?
yyy: moonlighting :'D
yyy: they need guys for tech support by the way

yyyy: got a job in tech support to get his apps back up and running quickly

***

xxx: Search is Google, ping is Yandex.

***

xxx: after reading the ToR in detail, it seems to me that our project is very much like a bicycle on crutches...

(c) bash

 
 

Why do they have a catalogue called FLIRTDOC?

6:04

 
i_logic:

Why do they have a catalogue called FLIRTDOC?

6:04

there used to be no xxx) only flirtdocs)
 
 
One day, a one-cent stock appears on the US stock exchange.
An American thinks, "They can't go any further down, they can only go up.
and orders his broker to buy them for $1,000.
The broker does it.
The next day, the same shares cost 2 cents.
The American thinks: "I'll hold them for now, maybe they will go up...".
And sure enough - the next day, the stock is 3 cents.
The American calls his broker:
- "Sell it now!
On the other end of the line, in a tired voice:
- "TO WHOM?
 
Why did my husband leave?

Dear editorial board! Alla Pavlovna N. from the city of M. I am writing to you to:
1. To cry.
2. To try to understand my mistake.
3. To get advice.
My husband and I lived together for ten years, but on our wedding anniversary, he walked out on me. And not just left, but embarrassed him in front of all my colleagues.

I work in a school as a Russian language and literature teacher. If he had left:
a) to his mistress;
b) because I was cheating;
c) because we weren't living well; it would be much easier and more understandable for me.

And he left for no apparent reason. The most frustrating thing is that in ten years we had never once quarreled. We lived a quiet, measured life, soul to soul. I did my best to make him feel at home and make things as easy as possible.

I never made him help me in the household because:
1. He wouldn't have done it right anyway.
2. It was easier and quicker for me to do everything myself.
3. I was used to order and he couldn't remember basic things, like which sponge to use to wash cups and which plate.

It also hurt me that for 10 years of my life I shielded him from all domestic problems and took care of him like a child. And he, in gratitude, embarrassed me in front of the whole staff.
I will tell you in detail what it was like. We were celebrating our wedding anniversary on a Saturday. I had prepared everything the day before, cleaned the house. In the morning, we congratulated each other. I gave my husband green indoor shoes in the colour of his terry-cloth dressing gown, and he gave me a silk scarf in some unimaginable colour that didn't match my coat or mackintosh, although I had asked him many times not to give me things if one didn't have basic taste. But I thanked my husband that morning not to spoil the holiday for both of us. However, my husband apparently sensed that I wasn't happy and decided to annoy me: instead of a set of 6, he suddenly picked up and put on a set of 4, for Thursday.

I discreetly reminded my husband that today is Saturday and he should wear set 6, but in the evening he will wear his holiday set 8. The fact is that my husband has no basic taste and I, not to be embarrassed by his ridiculous appearance, once and for all put his things in order, having distributed everything into sets for each day of the week, picking, of course, ties to shirts, socks to trousers.

He has kits for summer, winter and the off-season. The kit also includes underwear, handkerchief, belt, gloves (if needed), etc. And in his shirt pocket I always put a note that tells him point by point what he should do next. I am a punctual and careful person, and I believe that success in any business depends on a properly drawn up plan. So, I have always made a plan for my husband:

1. What cologne to freshen up after shaving.
2. What set of outerwear, depending on the weather forecast, to wear today.
3. And what shoes to go with that outfit.

That morning, after the remark I made, he did not change silently, but suddenly asked if today, on the occasion of Saturday, he could wear underwear from set 6 at home and outerwear from set 4. To which I, naturally, discreetly replied to him that he shouldn't do that because he might have problems on Thursday with socks from set 4 and shoes from set 6.

My husband went on to utter some utter gibberish that on Thursday he would be wearing shoes from the fourth set and would not disturb my schizophrenic order in any way.
That's what he said: schizophrenic. After which we quarreled for the first time in our lives and did not speak to each other until the evening. By the time the guests arrived, I had set the table, changed my clothes, and my husband was still sitting in set 4, but I purposely kept quiet and didn't say anything! And my husband only went to change clothes when the doorbell rang and the guests always come to us on time, knowing my love of punctuality. It took him a very long time to change. We all had time to sit down at the table. But I purposely didn't go into the bedroom to rush him, because I resented the schizophrenic order.

So here we are, sitting at the table, me at the head and all my colleagues by my side, waiting. I try to sound cheerful and joke around, saying that my husband set the table himself, so I had time to change and he hadn't. And then suddenly my husband comes out. You have no idea, but he purposely put on one thing from each set, not a festive set of 8!

I, of course, pretended that everything was fine, but when he sat down next to me, I told him in a whisper, "We've lived with you for 10 years, and I had no idea you were such a sophisticated sadist." And then my husband came out from behind the table, stood in the middle of the room and did an absolutely hooligan act. He took off his jacket and shouted:
The jacket is from weekday kit 1, worn on Mondays!"
Then he took off his tie, tossed it aside and shouted:
Weekday Kit 2 tie, worn on Tuesdays."
And so he made it to Sunday. That is, he stayed in just his pants.
If he had stopped there, maybe I could have forgiven him, but he took off his pants, threw them at me and said: Underpants from holiday set 8, worn on anniversaries, weddings, birthdays and New Year.

Whereupon my husband took his car keys and documents and walked out of the flat naked without even slamming the door. That's why I am writing to you, dear editorial board, because I can not understand: how, after 10 years together, you can:
1. To insult someone close to you like that.
2. Change so suddenly.
3. Leaving his wife for no reason or reason at all.
And most importantly, I don't understand why he did that.

Sincerely, Alla Pavlovna N. from M.
 
Mischek:

No joke . These are no joke times we're living in, man ))

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The police on the street in St. Petersburg stopped a man during a document check. His passport said that it had been issued in the Republic of Tuva.

The cops didn't know that it was a republic, so they said the passport was fake and detained him. The man doesn't speak Russian very well.

The court session was over 15 minutes ago.

Attention!

The DA said that there is no such nationality in Russia. The man was accused of using knowingly forged documents!

It's bullshit. It's the consequence of bought diplomas.

There is nothing on the man, it was just a simple document check on the street.

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The head of Tuva stood up for a compatriot who was insulted by a court in St. Petersburg
Sholban Kara-ool has promised the 29-year-old Tuvan man legal assistance, ITAR-TASS reported with reference to the Tuva government.

Do you have a link to an official source?
Reason: