Interesting and Humour - page 1279
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A plane crashed at San Francisco airport. Moscow taxi drivers have traditionally jacked up prices.
What strikes me is this:
A man wants to buy, say, a tsunikrimpel. He has never dealt with tsunikrimpels before, but knows that the internet is full of tsunikrimpel specialists. And so the man enters a professional forum and writes timidly:
"Dear comrades, I've decided to buy my first tsunikrimpel in my life. I dream to listen to his famous whistling. I dream to listen to its famous whistling. Where and how do I get a good-looking and reliable tsunikrimpel?
To which dear comrades usually answer the following:
1. What do you need a tsunikrimpel for anyway? Buy two krymzas. It costs the same, but the volume is bigger. Two krymzas do everything the same as one tsunikrimpel, only they don't whistle.
2. Yeah, there was a time when I was struggling with the choice of a tsunikrimpel, too...
3. If you haven't had a tsunikrimpel so far, you probably don't need one.
4. Congratulations! You are joining the small but very friendly company of tsunikrimpel owners! And you are on the right forum. You may get some help here for sure.
5. Has Google already been abolished?
6. "I long to hear his famous whistle". Let it be known, my dear fellow, that the tsunikrimpel does not "whistle", as you like to put it, but "hisses". And don't you say "whistle" about it in the company of knowledgeable people, they'll laugh at you.
7. Didn't understand the question.
8. If you spend a lot of time in Nairobi, I can suggest an excellent tsunikrimpels shop.
9. You know, I can't stand people like you! Some professionals spend years, you know, YEARS saving up for a tsunikrimpel and can't buy one because it's WAY too expensive. And you, you've got money to burn. Everything's there, so why not buy a tsunikrimpel? It sings beautifully. That's not the point! That's not what the Zunikrimpel's for, you know! Trambatron sips too, but it's not a tsunikrimpel. Who am I to explain it to? The pro era is over. I'm quitting the forum.
10. I'm a newbie too, but I haven't decided for myself if I want a tsunikrimpel or fuck it. When you buy it, tell me how much you got it for.
11. Zunicrimpels are rubbish! I put mine in the boot the other day, put it in the boot, covered it with two blankets, and it cracked on the way.
12. You're a bogeyman and your car is a bogeyman!
13. You don't need blankets to cover him, you need blankets to cover him.
14. That's right. I did, and nothing ever broke.
15. Blankets should be covered!
16. I already said bedding.
17. Yes, you did. Sorry, I missed your answer. Otherwise, everyone knows you have to do the bedding.
18. Brother, don't leave the forum. It'll be boring without you. Don't pay attention to any shitheads with money, they ain't worth it.
19. And I've both covered and bedded it. And it still cracked. That's because it's a crock! Piss on your tsunikrimpels! Faggots!
20. Where's the moderator looking?
21. As a moderator, I'm warning you that next time you make such remarks, you'll get a ban.
22. What's there to warn me about? I'm not the one who said anything about fags...
23. 23. Why was Seryoga banned? It wasn't him who said 'f*cking fags'.
24. No, this is outrageous. What's everybody getting banned for?
25. Because I warned you I'd ban you for saying that. No matter who you are.
26. All professionals buy tsunekrimeli at 7 Eastern Avenue. If you need detailed advice, knock in private.
27. Why are you bringing this up? Look at the date. It's a year old.
(from) Olga Tukhanina