She knows all about birth control - General

михаил потапыч 2013.04.08 19:31 #10921

She knows all about birth control

diana_ledi writes in ua
4 April, 18:05
Original taken from pashtet_77 in She knows everything about birth control
A friend of mine, a doctor, read that having children has long been unfashionable, laughed and told the following story in response.
The doctor works at the Central District Hospital and most of his patients come from regional villages.
One day another woman - fat, with a smell of dill and lay pillowcases, with large saggy breasts, with swollen knees from under a chintz gown, looking like rubber doll heads, with blue legs from the protruding veins - came to see him.
- It hurts here, I can't stand it, doctor," said the woman, holding her medicine-bag to her stomach and pointing at it with a short finger with a curved comma nail. - It stings so much. I could scream. You could prescribe me some drops, dear doctor.
- We'll prescribe some drops, don't worry, nothing will hurt, - her friend reassured her and began to write a referral for tests. - Tomorrow morning you shall pass all the tests and we will see how it is, and then we will prescribe drops.
- What do you mean - tests? I can't have any tests, - the woman moved away from the referral. - It's a long way to get here, to the district. My husband won't let me come, he won't let me come a second time. I have a colitis here. That's how it stings, on the side and down. I'll tell you, doctor, without any tests. You can prescribe me some drops, if you please. It's so painful, it's so painful, I'm going to the wall.
- What do you mean - without tests! - the doctor is indignant. - How will I know what drops to give you without tests?
- I said, my husband will not let me, - she whimpered, sobbing and pointing her finger to her stomach. - I'm digging potatoes. What about it? You could give me some drops in a bottle, in a bottle. It hurts here, it hurts so much!
- What's that beast of a husband of yours? Doesn't he understand?
- How can he not understand? - The woman blinked in surprise and shook her head vigorously. - I told you we have to dig potatoes! Tell me, he doesn't understand either!
The doctor was quiet, wondering what to do with a persistent patient.
- Tell me, have you had your period long ago? - The doctor asked.
- What's that? - The woman didn't understand, looking faithfully into the doctor's eyes.
- What do you mean "what"?! Well, your period! Your period! Auntie, what are you doing? Well, blood when it comes out of you "from there"! Do you understand? - The doctor exclaimed in surprise, with vigorous gestures showing how and where a woman should bleed.
- Eva, Doctor, you remembered," the woman waved and laughed, showing her steel crowns. - The last time was when I was about eighteen, I think. Well, that's it!
- How is it!? - The doctor didn't understand and stomped his foot. - Are you mocking me, aunt?
- Why am I mocking you? I'm not mocking you! How can you - at the doctor, do not I have no idea? I have a lot of children. Yes. Children. Twelve souls, that's right. I don't know how they, God forgive me, get their periods. I didn't know it was like that," laughed the woman, guiltily covering her mouth with her hand.
The doctor looked at the visitor incredulously. Then said sympathetically:
- So, maybe you need to protect yourself? Protect yourself somehow, eh?
- From whom? - Asked the woman in a conspiratorial whisper.
- From my husband, of course!
- You bet!" the woman agreed easily, and adjusted her dressing gown, hiding her knees. - You bet! When he's drunk, I immediately throw an axe into the well and run to the neighbour. So you, doctor, don't worry. I'm protecting myself.

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