Interesting and Humour - page 4322
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And knowing how to use the mirrors is much more useful than knowing how to use the turn signals.
And when the man in front doesn't understand what he's doing, or the man on the opposite side doesn't show his turn and turns? No mirrors are going to help.
Watch the movie Blind Fury... He's like a dead man's poultice...
And anyway, we're talking about different things. If you may hinder someone with your actions, then there's no objection, turn signals are necessary, but it's much more important to see that you may hinder someone with your actions. But if you're riding alone on the steppe... You can only blink at the gophers.
But if somebody is driving in a stream, he needs your turn signals not more than a dog's fifth leg. Unfortunately, they started to think, if you turned on a turn, everybody should rush to scatter and skip, because you need it more than anybody else and faster than anybody else... But before you demand respect for yourself, you should respect others.
I am reminded of a conversation. I was reminded of the film "The Big Break" where there was an essay with the following content: "Happiness is when they understand you"... But when both want their opponent to understand... then how? One will be happy and the other???
That's it, the discussion is over.
- Tell me this, if a black cat crossed back and forth, what does that mean? Has he doubled his punishment or reversed his decision?
- Is the cat a scalar cat or a vector cat? If it's scalar, he doubled it. If it's vector, he reversed it.
***
On the bus, a grandmother stands next to a spectacular girl with tattoos, almost everywhere, and stares in wonder at the tattoo on her neck. Young lady:
- Granny, there were no tattoos in your time? Why are you staring? Granny:
- Young lady, in my time there was everything. I spent 30 years in Asia. Then I taught Chinese at the Foreign Languages Institute. I just can't understand why you have "do not refreeze" written on your neck.
***
Do you have a college degree? Or even two? Do your homework with a 4th grader on modern textbooks - feel like an idiot!
***
Credit denial? There's an easy way to get revenge. You go to that bank and take out a safe deposit box for a year (you'll have to go broke). Better yet, get a couple of friends to buy a few more boxes. You buy a frozen fish (with giblets) and put it in a tray. It's pretty airtight, and the slop won't leak. According to the terms of the agreement, the bank cannot open your box during the entire term. Moreover, it is also difficult to determine the source of the stench if there are several fish in different places in the deposit box. After a year you can send a written permission to break the contract, if your feelings of revenge have been satisfied. It is not a good idea to go to the bank in person. They say it is the Italian way and it has been tried in real life.
***
At the bazaar: - Who wants apples! Who wants apples from chernobyl! ! ? ?
- Chernobyl apples? -wonders the passerby-who's going to buy them from you?
- No, they do. Some for the mother-in-law, some for the bosses!
***
Father sends his son:
- Go get a bottle.
- Give me the money.
- Even a fool can do it for money.
The son goes out, comes back 5 minutes later, puts the bottle on the table.
The father takes it and it's empty. He yells:
- There's nothing in it!
- And a fool can drink a full bottle.
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About management
Mid-nineties. My daughter comes up to me and asks: "How's my English?" We start to work it out: tomorrow I have to have 20 topics ready for the fourth lesson.
I wonder how many topics she can prepare in the remaining time until nightfall? One. If you include me, we can do two.
I give her the idea of calling a friend. She'll do one top, you do one. In the morning, you copy each other's, so we each have two tops and I'm not involved.
The week I meet the security guard at my daughter's school. He tells me that a crowd of school kids were storming the school before 8:00 in the morning. My daughter started them all, had to let them in.
I ask my daughter, "What was that?" Remember the tops. I called everyone, gave them all the subjects, ordered them to come to school at 8 am so everyone would have time to copy them in an hour before class, during breaks and in class. And if the English teacher asks about a topic, the one who wrote it would be the one to answer it. That's how it happened.
What topic did you prepare? There were fewer topics than there were students in the class.
- How does it feel to grovel every day for a penny to prolong your worthless existence?
- I don't know, I've never worked as a manager... )))
A homeless man is asked:
- How does it feel to grovel every day for pennies to prolong your worthless existence?
- I don't know, I've never worked as a trader... )))
corrected )))))
corrected )))))
It's a trader's fate to be in the red for years. But an established trader goes on holiday anywhere in the world at any time of the year.
It is a trader's fate to sit in deficit for years. But a well-established trader goes on holiday anywhere in the world at any time of the year.
Yeah, "established trader" and "holiday", funny ))