Interesting and Humour - page 2774

 
 

I must be an alarmist. When people ask me if I drink, I say I will))

 
 

***

- Lyosha! Come right away! There's a big mouse running around.

- Lena, I can't. I'm at work. Throw Barsik at her.
- I can't, he's on my head with his claws!

***

The beekeeper guessed that his wife had found the stash when he saw her with a puffy face but in a new dress.

***

It doesn't make sense. If you don't run from the maniac, he'll stab you in the side. If you run, it will stab you in the side all by itself.

***

A hung-over man approaches the mirror, looks at his wrinkled, swollen face and speaks softly out loud:

- How not to drink, ****?

***

A man, having been promoted and won a million dollars in the lottery, bursts home screaming with joy. Wife:
- Don't yell. Mum's dead...
The man locks himself in the bathroom and gawks excitedly at his face in the mirror muttering:

- It's on! It's on!

***

The man finds out his wife's cheating on him, he's riding his wave, and then
-bang, a cop gets run over... what to do? The cop gets in the boot, drives past
the cemetery, sees a man sitting there, smoking... ...so he turns to him:
-Bury him somewhere, and I'll give you $100.
-OK
The guy drove out of the cemetery (such a shock, he killed a cop, his wife left)... And then he drove off again and killed a cop (that's it, he's out). He drove back to the cemetery (the dugger was busy and he secretly planted the cop again). And he takes off...
The digger comes in, sees the body, thinks, "What the fuck? "but there's nothing to do, so he goes back to bury it...
Near the cemetery there was a police checkpoint, the litech sees a car going back and forth to the cemetery, thinks "Something's wrong, we need to deal with it...
Goes into the cemetery and sees a man digging, asks him
-What's going on here?
The man doesn't hesitate for long, with a shovel between his eyes:

-ARE YOU GONNA FUCKIN' LIE DOWN TONIGHT OR WHAT?

 
Reaction speed test.

http://www.ifastest.ru/index.php
Тест скорости реакции
  • www.ifastest.ru
Онлайн тест скорости реакции. Узнайте скорость вашей реакции прямо сейчас! Реакция измеряется в миллисекундах МС. 1000 миллисекунд это 1 секунда. Чем меньше тем лучше! Важно знать! Данный тест нужно проходить только кликая мышкой, а не пальцем по сенсорному экрану. У сенсорных экранов очень большая задержка при нажатии пальцем. Проходите тест...
 

That's how bald people get shaved:)

 
Dmitry Fedoseev:

That's how bald people get shaved:))

)))

 
Pavel Gotkevitch:
Reaction speed test.

http://www.ifastest.ru/index.php

Not a hockey or tennis player, but a football player. It turns out that football players of the above athletes are retards )))

 
Anatoli Kazharski:

)))

Programming hustlers )))

Now for 10 tries you need to make a walk...

P. S. Ahh, it's without a prog, via false starts.

 
Reason: