Interesting and Humour - page 536

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FAQ:
Mate, this is only the most famous, or rather promoted, of the supervolcanoes, and not the most dangerous by the way.
I know that, I've read about the others too.
 
WHAT DID MY MOTHER TEACH US?

My mother taught me to overcome the impossible: "Shut your mouth and eat your soup.
My mother taught me to respect other people's work: "If you're going to kill each other, go outside, I just mopped the floors.
My mother taught me to believe in God: "Pray that this crap gets washed."
My mother taught me to think logically: "Because I said so, that's why.
My mother taught me to think about the consequences: "If you fall out the window, I won't take you to the shop.
My mother taught me resilience: "Don't leave the table until you've finished eating."
My mother taught me cause-effect relationships: "If you don't stop crying now, I'll spank you.
My mother taught me not to be jealous: "There are millions of children in the world who are not as lucky with their parents as you are.
My mother taught me how to grow up: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
My mother taught me to be brave and look to the future: "Wait till I get home and talk to you."
 
Vovochka, who is late, flies into the classroom. He doesn't say hello, doesn't take off his hat.
The teacher is stern: "Vovochka! Get out and come back in immediately!!!
Vovokchka: Oh, shit!... It's like "Windows" all over again.
 
The intercom is great! While my husband is climbing the stairs, my wife has time to turn off the computer and TV, tie her apron, put the phone down... ...and stands there, poor thing, doing the dishes...
 
 
 
drknn:
The intercom is great! While her husband is climbing the stairs, his wife has time to turn off the computer and TV, tie her apron, put the phone down... ...and stands there, poor thing, doing the dishes...
It's a great thing, though, the intercom. Today I didn't let two "horses in coats", "Grandpa Pichto" and "Agniya Barto" in the doorway ©
 
Mischek:
I said face! To the people!
 
moskitman:
I said face! To the people!
 
moskitman:

I SAID FACE!!!

(that's just lol)

I mean, come on, mosquitoes are screaming at bears.

At night.

It's the booze that's got the nerve.

Can't you hit me in the ass, bloodsucker?

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