Interesting and Humour - page 2138

 

- How is a banana republic different from an oil and gas power?
- Bananas are a renewable resource.

- Vladimir Vladimirovich, why is everything becoming more expensive in Russia?
- Well, here you are completely wrong - the rouble, for example!

 
Венеция проголосовала за отделение от Италии. ВИДЕО - Телеканал «Звезда»
  • tvzvezda.ru
Венеция проголосовала за отделение от Италии. ВИДЕО - 2,2 миллиона человек, что составляет более 60% жителей региона Венето, столицей которого является Венеция, высказались за отделение от Италии.
 
Google развенчал десять наиболее популярных мифов о Google Glass
Google развенчал десять наиболее популярных мифов о Google Glass
  • bigmir)net
  • techno.bigmir.net
Половина мифов так или иначе связана с правом человека на неприкосновенность частной жизни. Например, миф №2 гласит, что Glass записывают на видео все и всегда, а миф №10 - что с очками Google частная жизнь перестает существовать. «Когда в конце XIX века на потребительском рынке появились первые камеры, люди тоже говорили о прекращении...
 
A girl looks at a pregnant woman.
- What have you got there? - points to her belly with her finger.
- That's my baby! - Smiles the mother-to-be.
- Do you love him?
- Of course I love it!
- Then why did you eat it?!
 
A daughter calls her mother on her return from her honeymoon:
- Mum, there's something going on between me and my husband, come and see if you can help me.
The mother arrives, the daughter tells her:
- You know, my husband isn't interested in me as a woman at all. When we go to sleep, you go to the bedroom and look through the keyhole, and maybe in the morning you will give me some advice. We went to bed. The mother got up, went to the bedroom, looked through the keyhole and saw: The light was on, the husband and daughter were lying in bed, the daughter was completely naked, her husband was reading a book. Suddenly he puts his hand on her breast, gently runs it down her body and reaches her privates. The mother thinks that everything is fine and goes to sleep.
In the morning her daughter asks:
Did you see it?
- Yes, I saw, everything seems to be all right.
- Yes??? What did you see?
- Well, first he was reading a book, then he ran his hand over your body, came to a stop, then I went to sleep.
- You just didn't watch it till the end! He's wetting his finger and turning the page!
 
My wife's friend Lyubashka, having earned her "doughnuts" with a lot of hard work, and having faithfully "learnt" at the driving courses (if they can be called training courses at all), bought herself a brand new Fiat Punto. Acquisition was "showered", headlights and windows wiped, the wheels bumped, crushed the horn. The thunder rumbled a week later, when on the way home from work, my mobile phone voice sobbing Lubasha told me that she had crashed the car. And, as she put it, smashed it to pieces. When I asked her what happened, Lyubashka "killed" me with the argument: "Even the underbody protection came off". I have smoked nervously for years myself, when "masters-strokes" "straighten" my "swallow" at an auto service. But, frankly speaking, I have never heard about such unknown detail, as "underbody protection". It was simply inadmissible to lose face and to sign my own automobile illiteracy! Curiosity overcame tiredness and I informed CZK that I would come to "evaluate the damage". Passing by Lyubka's doorway, I noticed that externally, "Button", as affectionately dubbed by his wife's girlfriend her new "cart", looked even newer than it was a week ago. It wasn't the last surprise of the evening.After once again informing me that the part she lost was called exactly "underbody protection
", the bemused blonde opened the boot and gave an intrigued me the opportunity to enjoy the sight of the CANALIZATION Hatch resting in the car at
Lyubka. When I timidly asked how it was, I was literally told the following: "So I'm driving. Suddenly, "Boo". Apparently, I hit a bump. I slammed on the brakes and I got out - and there she was, protection that is - lying beside me. Some blokes stopped and I complained to them and they told me that this part was the most important one in the car and that it was extremely dangerous to drive without it. They helped me load it in the boot and advised me to go to the service station (40 km per hour, right lane, with a "crash." All of her tirade was occasionally interrupted by snapping and my efforts to restrain laughter. But that was not all. Oily fitter from the service, listening Lyubashki tearful story and wiping his hands with no less oily rags, told his friend that the men on the road is absolutely right, because there is no in the car more important detail than the "bottom protection. But he can't repair the car, because at the moment he doesn't have..... Listen carefully:
"Left-hand self-tapping screws SS416/53"455674/546388/Bis" (the paper with number of self-tapping screws was given by kind-hearted locksmith to Lyubashka not to forget what exactly he needed). Shop assistant, where Lubka immediately went and went, a bit fluffy at the beginning, then said it was important that these screws are only available to order for three months, and then no guarantee that arrive, and therefore ride the car at all possible!
That's it!!! I can't remember further details, because at this moment my lid was "blown off".
I laughed so hard, I almost had a gut wrench. For this irresponsible behaviour, my wife called me an "idiot". Apparently it was purely out of a woman's solidarity.
 
 
 
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OK

Самому распространенному слову на планете - «ОК» - исполняется 175 лет
Самому распространенному слову на планете - «ОК» - исполняется 175 лет
  • tass.ru
НЬЮ-ЙОРК, 23 марта. /Корр. ИТАР-ТАСС Андрей Бекренев/. 23 марта слову "окей" (ОК) исполняется 175 лет. Согласно ассоциации Global Language Monitor (GLM), фиксирующей употребление выражений английского языка по всему миру, "OК" является самым распространенным и общепризнанным словом на планете. 23 марта 1839 года оно появилось впервые: на...
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