Interesting and Humour - page 337
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There aren't enough flats for everyone))
the Germans are better this time...
A distant relative once came to visit us. The distant relative was the kind of man who accompanies every phrase with a meaningful chuckle, and who speaks to children as if they were very stupid adults in front of them.
At the table my brother reached for the sugar and the Far Relative moved the sugar bowl. "Thank you," Mishka said politely. He was four years old and just mastering the great power of gratitude.
"You can't put thanks on bread," said the Distant Relative, "and you can't put it in your pocket.
Mishka was confused and blinked. And Far Away Roommate grinned meaningfully and continued drinking his tea.
In principle, I could easily imagine what was going on in the mind of my four-year-old brother. It became especially clear after the fact, when the Distant Relative began to pack up to leave, and in his coat pocket he discovered a packet of melted butter.
(Dad was laughing so hard that the Relatives were offended. And didn't seem to come to us again. And Mum later said, with a sigh, that he could have limited himself to a quarter of a packet. Half at the most).
(c) eilin_o_connor
The Russian family as seen by the American family
- Darling, I'm home!
- Comrade, why are you so late?
- A bear dislocated his leg on the way - I had to pamper him with vodka.
- Everybody sit down! Let's drink some vodka.
- Mum, I'll go and play with the bear.
- All right, but first drink the vodka and put on your earflaps.
- Where's our grandpa?
- He's been in line for two weeks for vouchers.
- Good thing he drank some vodka and wore an earflaps. And you don't sit idly by, go drink vodka too.
- Well, go out, sonny, and don't forget to write your report to the KGB tonight! And don't forget to buy some vodka on the way home - it's running out.
- Darling, it's hot. Turn off the atomic reactor, please.
- I'll finish my vodka and turn it off, while you put on your earflaps and play the balalaika.
alex_oil
- Come to think of it, there's a mouse making fun of a cat in my house!
- What do you mean?
- The cheese in the mousetrap is smeared with valerian.