Interesting and Humour - page 1267
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That's it. Shit. I've been deciphered.
Retirement. Incomplete pension. Teeth on the shelf.
"A group of professional trolls have settled on both sites under the common nickname of bears, joined by a group of citizens. All together engaged in trolling all things Russian and never anything overseas. Look at the number of posts by the mishka. That number of posts takes time, often preparation,..."
https://www.mql5.com/ru/forum
Wahahaha!!!
* gone to get a tranche from the state department...
By the way, you should sign the man up for Sputnik & Pogrom if he doesn't read it already. There have been some very good texts on the "Soviet/Russian" antithesis lately. Even Komsomolka noticed them and appreciated them :)
Very good biscuits. I recommend them.
Funny humorous horoscope - who is what evil spirits according to the sign of the zodiac.
Serpent Gorynych - Aries (March 21 - April 20) The unrelenting energy of the ruling planet - Mars influences the poor animal with such force that everyone around him runs with burnt holes and smells of burning. Therefore, his inextinguishable care and attention, like himself, is hard not to notice. It burns with all parts of speech honestly and straightforwardly, but it would be better to be silent. The Serpent Gorynych is impulsive, he should count to thirty and think well with each of his heads before flying and creating, destroying everything to the ground. He fails to try on someone else's skin, not a single skin will fit on such a large-scale personality. Therefore, it is crawling, flying, sleeping and flamethrower self-confidence, exorbitant pride and ultimate truth. An ardent supporter of polite dictatorship and tactful imposition of his own opinion with aimed fire, but he will not get into a fight first. Each barrel has a massive bung that seeks to guide both the owner of the barrel, and the drink, and the barrel. Thinks globally, on a grand scale, greatly exaggerating the facts. If he is sick all over, then immediately for three, if he ate one knight with an appetite, he swears that he ate a dozen. He does not blush, because the green one sacredly believes his every word. And what else to believe in a naive, gullible, noble reptile in our cruel time? True, the Serpent Gorynych grovels with dignity, devotion, of good will, and only before the humiliated and offended. For this they pay him, usually with black ingratitude, striving to step on the tail and cut off all three heads at once. Evil spirits shine with acting talent, pretending to be dead in order to arrange a festive volcanic eruption for the oncoming crowd.
Brownie - Taurus (April 21 - May 21) If you have a Brownie in your apartment, do not despair, consider that you are very lucky, you bought Taurus cheaply, and Golden. Take a deep breath and don’t breathe anymore, think about material things, don’t ask yourself every day a stupid question: “Where did the money go?” Money, appearing in the house, is immediately stored in a reliable bank, which you cannot reach without a good reason and a petition. It’s better to think about something spiritual, for example, about the soul, because Domovoy, although caring and practical, is evil spirits, and life awaits you restless. The brownie is jealous, stubborn, selfish, uncompromising in disputes, so it’s better to silently agree to everything. The situation is especially unenviable when you moved in with your Domovoy samovar, but the previous tenants did not take your Domovoy, and you do not have an address to express everything that you think about them. You will have to live in hell for a while. The house will become unbearably hot, you will be accused of all mortal sins, beating, prickly, cutting household items will fly around, you will be tormented by insomnia and otherworldly gloomy voices that tediously find out who is the boss in the house. If you thought this concerned you, relax and take the noodles off your ears. Communicating with Brownies on business matters, for example, you cannot find a thing that has disappeared from the usual place, stand in the corner of the room and say loudly: “Brownie, brownie, play, play and give it back!” The phrase will have to be repeated three hundred and thirty-three times, the brownie is a brake on principle.
Goblin - Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Wildly changeable nature, shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. Three minutes ago, Goblin gave you a brainwash and gave you heat in the country of coal, which didn’t stand like that, whistled, picked mushrooms, and now it carefully breathes coolness, like an air conditioner. What if you were sweating while sorting things out with him? Because in order to sort things out with Leshy, you need angelic patience, a sense of humor and a lot of free time. Listen to Leshy, so everyone, except for him, has arms, legs, and heads that do not grow from where they need to. You will have to turn the skin inside out, change the right shoe to the left, the left to the right, and guiltily back away on business so that Leshy will spare you and not talk twelve hours a day on any freely given topic. Do not sit on a stump, do not eat a pie - he will talk, confuse, choke on a pie. The goblin has three gifts: the gift of words, the gift of deeds and the gift of tediousness, and distributes them for free. Governed by swift-footed Mercury, Leshy is as mobile as mercury, runs, flickers, brewing a decoction of freshly dug moss that no one needs. Better than him, not a single evil spirit can clutter up and quickly turn a normal, spacious forest into a slum. Goblin does not lie, but plays with imagination, does not confuse traces, but jokes, does not intrigue, but has fun, is not late, but delayed. Therefore, he is an excellent politician, an intriguer and a talented critic of everyone and everything, but, like Vodyanoy, he is not appreciated in his native forest.
Kikimora - Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Emotional, sentimental, dreamy, sensitive, affectionate and good-natured evil spirits. A dual, contradictory nature, loves change and diversity, she wants either to the women or to the girls to be Kikimora at home, dependent, or Kikimora wildly free, marsh. Having quarreled with Vodyanoy, she runs to Domovoy, offended by Domovoy, returns to Vodyanoy, torn between home and swamp, as a rule, unhappy and not understood in her personal life. It has the gift of foresight, if you got drunk from a hoof, then you will become a goat, if you foolishly climbed to drown yourself in a swamp, then you are not all at home. In any case, you will need an ambulance to help Kikimora. She will scream at you mentally, put a hundred leeches, douse you with cold water, smear you in healing mud, wrap you in mud and put you under a bush to recover. Kikimora is disinterested, knows how to keep secrets, you can trust her with a gold coin while you lie down under a bush. She will bury it, and by morning you will have a whole tree strewn with gold. If suddenly the tree does not grow, and Kikimora forgot on which field of fools she buried the coin, do not despair, the main thing is not the result, but the care and attention shown. Kikimora is a faithful and devoted friend, falling into her claws, you are doomed. Now for you and your children up to the seventh generation they will think one thing, say another and do the third. It won’t be boring, it won’t seem a little, because Kikimora has indomitable energy and rich imagination.
Cat Bayun - Leo (July 23 - August 23) The king of animals, who retired to a dubious rest, fell into childhood, returned to his roots. He goes to the right - the song starts, to the left - he tells a fairy tale, he does it masterfully with great charisma, even if he has neither hearing nor voice. It can lull you, even if it’s not the time, not the place, and you weren’t going to sleep. If you get mad - you will fall asleep forever, but you will see colorful dreams, how Cat Bayun goes to the right - the song starts, to the left ... Posturing and boasting in Cat Bayun's blood, he will turn a primitive hut on chicken legs into a Melodramatic Theater of One Actor, if a grateful spectator "appeared, not got dusty." Endowed with intellect and magnetism, but often suffers from amnesia: “I am not me, and the kittens are not mine, where I was, whom I finished off with intellect, magnetized tightly - I don’t remember.” Magnanimous and noble: "To everyone who owes - I forgive!" He likes to patronize, especially the weak: a mouse, a bunny, a hamster, a bird, a fish. He takes care of for a long time, carefully, with interest, then he can graciously release him into the wild if he has played enough. You should take care of him vigilantly - feed him with sour cream, fresh meat, drink cream, stroke his wool, comb out fleas, otherwise he will become sick and refuse to be the meaning of life with you. Do not flatter yourself, Cat Bayun is a wild animal, no matter how you feed it, everything looks into the forest. Stubborn, arrogant and damn smart predator, if he needs to get that sausage over there, he will hunt until the sausage is surrendered to the mercy of the winner. If Kot Bayun flared up sharply, it’s their own fault, it’s too dusty on the soft sofa where he used to lie, and his lordly inclinations require a respectful and careful attitude.
Baba Yaga - Virgo (August 24 - September 23) In fact, this is Vasilisa the Wise, tired of the fuss and disappointed in the human breed, which she knows as flaky. A misanthrope and a cynic, a retired eminence grise who secluded himself in the wilderness for ingenious beading intrigues. He peacefully brews potions, dries fly agarics for the winter, so that, on occasion, he can treat his neighbor who has gone too far into the forest. Nature is closed, overly cautious, boring and demanding, it will check seven times why they came, and only once will cut off your tail to the very ears, because it does not recognize any compromises, you are torturing al from business you are whining, there is no middle ground, “after hard plowing lie on the stove, eat kalachi ”as an argument does not work. Evil spirits are fair, corrosive and meticulous, read bad thoughts, understand nasty things from a half-word, express themselves adequately in response. A weak strategist, but a strong tactician, is able to motivate to send to hell by sticking a small ball and indicating the direction with a broom. Baba Yaga's remarks often hurt, actions shock, ruthlessness and coldness offend good fellows, but her help is effective as "dead" + "living" water when you have already been chopped into cabbage. The evil spirits are industrious, wasteful, economical and thrifty, but reckless, "in the mood" can waste the accumulated funds, playing with the Nightingale the Robber in preference. Yaga has an ideal organization of labor in the hut, potions are arranged in the right disorder, spiders weave webs in strictly allotted corners, the cat spoils only where necessary, mice line up and run in a clear sequence like pigs, flies fly along the intended trajectory. Baba Yaga is laconic, restrained, but curious, arranges an inquiry with a predilection for trifles. Carefully! Anything you confuse in your testimony will be used against you.
Mara - Libra (September 24 - October 23) Ghost lives in a medieval castle in thick fog, especially in the morning. A mysterious, muddy creature, where he will go - he doesn’t know what he will wear - he didn’t choose with whom - it’s unknown why - he didn’t come up with, most likely, he won’t go anywhere at all, because you need to get up, drag yourself carefully weigh all the “pros” and “ against". Without analyzing the situation, which she will muddle up to the limit, Mara will not lift a finger, will not lead with her ear, will not rustle her shroud. You can lure evil spirits only "for a terrible interest." A supporter of beliefs, why run when you can stand, why stand when you can sit and why sit when you can lie down. The slow, ever-doubting evil spirits cannot choose whether to appear in the form of a hunched old woman in black, or to loom as a young woman in white, or to amuse adults at noon, or to frighten little children at midnight. It is impossible to combine all the pleasures in a heap, hence the eternal discord with the surrounding reality, because any evil spirits are terrible with an image, and Mara has been in light thoughts and unhurried search for herself for more than a century. It is not by chance that evil spirits are personified with death by suffocation, it is enough to go shopping with it, and you will either strangle it, or run out of steam yourself. To be or not to be in this suit is a matter of life, death and your iron nerves. Mara is an extremely noisy and annoying ghost, arriving at midnight, rattling her chains until six in the morning, vigorously discussing with you a touching and funny story “how she got to such a life after death”, even if you are silent, yawning and unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. But Mara is not so much your nightmare, but the embodied fate-villain, sheer confusion and a slight clouding of reason. You can get it from the other world and tactlessly, but kindly, blow your brains out. Do not worry, during the day the evil spirits will not annoy, you can’t see it - you can’t hear it when it comes to everyday, dreary work.
Mermaid - Scorpio (October 24 - November 22). If you are determined to swim, prepare for the worst. Cultivate willpower, be patient, learn to breathe evenly, buy waterproof ear plugs and white rubber slippers, suddenly a Mermaid will meet on your life path. Practice swimming on land first, because mermaids are even found on the way to the bathroom, then water procedures are canceled for the near future. The "Navel of the Earth" is washed first and as much as it sees fit. The evil spirits know exactly what SHE wants and she absolutely doesn't give a damn about what YOU want. A mermaid will sit on a pebble in the middle of a pond and comb her marvelous hair for a long time with a wonderful comb, even if she has a stubby hedgehog on her head. And you have to stick around like an enthusiastic idol on the shore in slippers, with a towel at the ready, without breathing, so that no circles on the water interfere with the process. If you interfere, the Mermaid will drown in a whirlpool of emotions, beat you to death with a comb and drag you to the bottom to build a crystal palace under a snag. Nature is complex, mysterious, emotional, rushing from one extreme to another, either sitting in a lake, or climbing into a bottle on an oak tree, or singing sweetly, or screaming with a fire siren, or an angel, or the devil knows what. Out of love for you, she is able to give her voice to a witch, and immediately turn you into sea foam, because she is so changeable and impulsive. She is forgivable, she has an internal conflict between the sublime and the base: the top wants to bring her unearthly beauty to people, and the bottom has low self-esteem. The mermaid is independent, rebellious, capricious, slips away from any networks, you can manipulate evil spirits, but carefully, in tight velor gloves. Put more pressure on pity, the Mermaid somewhere very deep in her soul is kind and sympathetic.
Famously One-eyed - Sagittarius - (November 23 - December 21). In fact, famously Two-Eyed, but if you wake up when you haven’t had enough sleep, then it will famously start your shooting. The evil spirits will grab a bow, arrows, a pillow that is tucked under your arm, carefully aim, squinting your eyes ... it does everything carefully and accurately ... you will remember this beautiful one-eyed face for the rest of your short life, leaving an admonition to posterity: DO NOT WAKE UP! It was about the Likho child that they said: “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.” It grew up, the nannies fell under dashing natural selection, but the restlessness, cheerfulness and energy over the edge retained evil spirits, however, as well as eyelessness. Likho is a complete idealist and an incurable romantic, he believes in a bright future, in love at first sight, in friendship from the second, in divorce and a maiden name from the third. Stepping on the same rake, he stubbornly closes his eyes to human vices to scatter utensils everywhere, so he proudly goes through life with a black eye and scars on his heart, wounded by a rake. If you are burning with the desire to find out the whole truth about yourself, without being afraid of an arrow in the ass, a pillow on the ears, an onion in the eye, go to Likh and ask. Insightful, observant, frank, it will express a personal opinion with directness, tact and the inevitability of an armored train flying at you without brakes. The evil spirits intensely and passionately long for adventures, vivid impressions and new sensations, therefore it carries and brings it ... to where it smells dangerous, curious and tasty.
Kashchei the Immortal - Capricorn (December 22 - January 20). Nature is whole, stubborn, ambitious, fireproof, waterproof, bulletproof and strong-willed. It’s about him that they gently say behind his eyes “drawn up - erase the figs, goat”, and in his eyes severely - “salt of the Earth”, which is fair, not sugar. The only evil spirit that is not prone to fullness, but do not risk calling it a walking soup set, it forgives insults, if only you, a young eagle, are sitting in a damp dungeon and rattling your chains on your last breath. The leader and strategist, takes full responsibility for the gold obtained in the struggle, over which he voluntarily languishes. Appreciates material values \u200b\u200b"just like that", in a chest, and not for comfort. You can always cry to him in the tibia, he is a pessimist, he will sympathize so much with your grief, sciatica and a bunch of problems with your teeth that you will immediately understand that it will be worse. Jealous, but restrained, he solves the problem of his headache radically - with your guillotine. He loves loneliness with Vasilisa the Beautiful in the kitchen and with a dozen Ivanov-Tsarevichs in the dungeon, because it is more fun to grumble, philosophize, be witty and appreciate everything beautiful in a pleasant company. A maniac and a gambler in everything, extremely patient, he can wait and catch up with eternity, he has time. Prefers to wear a casual suit soft, meek, white, fluffy, do not be fooled, the bunny suit hides a duck, an egg, an iron character.
Nightingale the Robber - Aquarius (January 21 - February 18). Lazy, friendly, irresponsible evil spirits, prefers to sit on the branches and constantly whistle to you. Nature is airy, flutters through life, pours water on its mill, successfully spinning the wheel of fortune. He knows perfectly well what, to whom and when to whistle with a dashing valiant whistle so that the victim's ears are stuffed up, she loses her orientation in space, gives up her horse, throws her weapon and blows in different directions. Most often, the Nightingale the Robber chooses the creative professions of the pen and the ax. The evil spirits are charming to the point of trembling in the knees, optimistic, sociable, spilling like a nightingale, so you are tormented by vague doubts, maybe this is not a highway robber, but Robin Hood, who abandoned home comfort in order to give free rein and freedom to an unsuspecting traveler. The Nightingale the Robber is inquisitive and compassionate, he will carefully check how far the wind has blown you, how many arms and legs you have broken, how much food and drink you have left in your knapsack. Evil spirits are generously gifted by nature, but they do not have time to develop numerous talents, everything goes into a whistle. Creative, but in an eternal search, she easily builds castles in the air, and easily destroys them in front of an astonished audience. The Nightingale the Robber can be shot, but it is impossible to force him to act contrary to his wishes, even if he is aware of the severity of the consequences of his whistle. A bully bird can be caught, imprisoned, and even a whistling tooth knocked out, it will still find something to whistle and express itself in an original way.
Water - Pisces (February 19 - March 20) If you sat down in a deep puddle, you are rapidly sucked in, you begin to die and gurgle indignantly, but suddenly something pale, green, decisive appears, which pulls you like a hippopotamus, praising the patriotic native puddle, do not hesitate - before you is Water. He loves his swamp so much that he prefers not to get out of it. True, in the depths of his soul, Vodyanoy - a Large Golden Fish, dreams of the seas and corals, dangerous adventures and fulfill any reasonable desires, from the trough to the pillar nobility. A romantic, incorrigible under difficult living conditions, believes in scarlet sails, has the vivid imagination of an oyster and the intellectual potential of a dolphin. The water man is modest, sociable, shy, nervous, when they do not understand his lofty impulses to help his neighbor stay afloat, he is offended and hides under a snag for a long time. The soul of evil spirits is thin, vulnerable, but not a single creature in the swamp appreciates this. Do not pass by reservoirs with bad intentions, it is dangerous for a pure-hearted Waterman to act with dirty thoughts on his nerves. However, Vodyanoy prefers to dodge collisions, flow around obstacles, rather than fight them. He always swims at a depth and sees at the root, they willingly reach out to Vodyanoy for advice, sometimes they drown in them. The evil spirits willingly, suffer a lot and often, are ready to sacrifice themselves and their time, this gives her life meaning and adds variety to her boring everyday life. Vodyanoy - The Bog King, like any ruler, is thoughtful, lonely, significant and burdened.
Good morning
Book carving or book surgery ?
Oh the mysterious and inscrutable Japanese advertising.
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