Traders joking, the beginning - page 708

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If the customer is always right, then why isn’t everything free?

 
Facebook is now planning to weed out the bogus news stories that show up on your feed. Mark Zuckerberg has promised to crack down on what he calls fake news. He’s also calling BS on your happy anniversary posts. Nobody’s buying it.
 
 

On the subway, untangling earbuds is the new knitting. The woman across from me could have finished 
a cardigan by now.

 
Residents of a town in Missouri this week are complaining about the creation of a “bondage club” that operates next door to a church. The town filed a restraining order, but that just got them more excited.
 
 
In Mexico, for the first time in years, a 1,100-pound man has finally left his bed. And the guy on the bottom bunk is very grateful.
 
Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, “I’m eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.” While Biden said, “If you tell the waiter it’s your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.”
 

I ate a gluten-free, lactose-free, low-carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato.)

 
An artificially intelligent sex robot is expected to hit the market next year. Because that’s what guys want in a sex robot — intelligence.
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