I took my time, a long reflexion before publishing my post, but one day I need to jump for real and I will use this diary as a proof and support.
Today is a new day, the day of truth, facing the reality. Blowing up the bubble of my dreams such as those crazy start-ups fund raising. I fall in trading around 5 years ago. I was totally in the downside of my life, and easy money was appealing such as a fortune teller. I spent day and night reading, learning. Moving from one forum to another one, browsing around for the ultimate indicators, the holy grail strategy. Jumping from a promising EA offered for a shitty price to a more promising solution. Beginning creazy between all these options. I loaded more than 600 indicators in Metatrader, one after another. Building in my mind ultimates strategies, victorious martingale, hedging solutions. Doing quick mind backtesting with a partial behaviour and from jumping to the sky after finding the inglorious bastard strategy, seeing billions in my eyes, changing my life, running the world to fall in the dark edge after meeting a specific market situations that totally run out my promising idea.
During the years I reduces some expectations, life changed, found a job and kept in one part of my brain for the forex trading. Sometimes getting back during a period, testing several ideas and then drop out by not finding a 100% accurate solution. I learnt the rules, but rules are boring, dreams, expectations are more appealing to my mind. Sometime I started crawling hundred of candles, trying different situation, adapting my strategy each time and then, opening my eyes, 3 am in the morning, totally lost on a planet.
I tried to get superficial appearances, speaking trading to my nearest circle, bothering my wife on it, projected her the shiny future. I participate to local trader meetup. I do really enjoyed the discussion. But in fact the reality is different. Spending time on forum, indicators, reading articles, experts analysis is interesting for the knowledge but I was not practicing. Only few demo accounts and I think only one shitty 50$ real account on a non recommended broker. I understood the main principal and issues but never applied it myself.
Today, I reach a crossroad. Shut down until the end any trading stuff, or moving my ass and doing something effective and seeing what’s happened. Today I want to start for real, stopping to talk about but to be part of the action. If I don’t do it, I wouldn’t have tried and I have two options, stop trading before starting and moving to another hobby or making it real and see what’s happen. If it doesn’t work I would know why and I would not regret.
I will use this forum as a diary, a good way to motivate myself and using it as a sort of coach and support. Please, feel free to ask questions, support or criticize, the web is a place for sharing. And if you find similarities in some of my previous behaviours, do not hesitate to share.