Interesting and Humour - page 585

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Mischek:
http://pervakov.livejournal.com/2264305.html
It's their own fault, they have piled on, their labour is now very cheap.
 
A young couple walks in the park. No ice cream, water or flowers on sale.
A notice hangs up: "No littering, no spitting. The fine is 10 roubles.
The boy to the girl:
- Spit, it's my treat.
 
Photographer Ivanov has abandoned the Western habit of suggesting that those being photographed say "Cee-ee-ee-es!" He knows from experience that a smile comes out much more naturally if the people being photographed say "Cee-ee-ee-ees!
 
 
Two cats are walking. Towards them are two cats - one a gorgeous Siberian cat, the other a scraggly yard cat. One cat yells:
- The fluffy, fat one's mine!
Well, there's nothing to do. Girlfriend gets the scumbag one.
They meet again the next day.
- Listen, this homeless guy turned out to be such an amazing guy: he's got me both in the alley and on the street! And how's your fancy Siberian?
- What's there to tell? All night long he took me out on the rooftops and told me how he froze my balls off in Siberia...!
 
The husband's wife sends her husband to the pharmacy to buy condoms, and adds:
- Buy me two droppers as well.
Husband comes back angry:
- I won't go to the pharmacy again. I ask the salesgirl for two condoms, she says:
- I don't have any. - I say:
- Then give me two droppers.
And she falls under the counter laughing hysterically.
 
The neighbour's kid challenged me to a water pistol fight. I'm just writing this while the water in the pot boils...
 
Two Martians stand and watch as the rover, completely delirious, frantically waves its cameras and probes back and forth across the planet, buzzing frantically.
- What's the matter with him?
- You see, there's a company on Earth called Microsoft...
 
peripatetikos:
Two Martians stand and watch as the rover, completely delirious, frantically waves its cameras and probes back and forth across the planet, buzzing frantically.
- What's the matter with him?
- You see, there's a company on Earth called Microsoft...
No credit, the last Mars rover had a VxWorks OS
 
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