Interesting and Humour - page 2575
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On 5 March spectators at the WBC rally held in Mexico witnessed a spectacular crash as Estonians Ott Tänak and Raigo Molder made a mistake and rolled their Ford Fiesta RS WRC into the water.
They managed to unbuckle their seatbelts and jump out of the car just before it went under the water.
Footage from an outdoor camera emerged immediately after the accident, and today an equally interesting footage from the drowned car's DVR was published.
Estonian crew sinks car at Mexico rally
On 5 March spectators at the WBC rally held in Mexico witnessed a spectacular crash as Estonians Ott Tänak and Raigo Molder made a mistake and rolled their Ford Fiesta RS WRC into the water.
They managed to unbuckle their seatbelts and jump out of the car just before it went under the water.
Immediately after the accident an outdoor camera footage emerged and today an equally interesting video from the drowned car's DVR was published.
- Hello, Ivan Ivanovich?
- Yes.
- Happy 8th of March, we wish you happiness, health, success in your work...
- Wait, why are you congratulating me? I'm a man.
- Well, a man, not a man, but you're a decent BLEEP!!!
- Hello, who's speaking?
- Who's talking, who's talking, everybody's talking!
Phone call:
- Hello, Ivan Ivanovich?
- Yes.
- Happy 8th of March, we wish you happiness, health, success in your work...
- Wait, why are you congratulating me? I'm a man.
- Well, a man, not a man, but you're a decent BLEEP!!!
- Hello, who's speaking?
- Who's talking, who's talking, everybody's talking!
Communicating with your superiors:
Impossible in principle - I don't know how to do it.
Impossible - I know how, but I'm lazy.
Difficult - I have to read the documentation.
In principle, realizable - just yesterday I downloaded a library from the Internet, which solves the problem.
Elementary - used exclusively for evaluating tasks faced by other programmers, regardless of their complexity.
It works - it compiles.
Debugging - it does not compile.
I run test examples - I try to find one where the program won't crash.
Ok, I'll try - let's get the fuck away from me.
Been working late - playing online.
By 10:00 - afternoon.
After lunch, by 6:00 p.m.
Tomorrow - one week.
A week, a month.
A month - six months.
A year - never.
Sure - maybe.
Probable - probability 0.5.
Maybe - no.
No - who else are you going to find for that kind of money?
It wasn't in the specs - go to....
Communication with the customer:
Impossible in principle - impossible in principle.
Difficult - elementary, but I don't like the amount offered.
Feasible in principle - I have no idea how to do it, but I like the suggested amount.
Elementary - used solely in response to the question of whether it would be easy for the user to learn the program interface.
Resource-intensive - I'm too lazy to do the optimization.
Advanced information technology - I'm too lazy to optimize.
Large amount of work - I spent an hour downloading a library from the Internet.
Minimum requirements - it will run but it won't work.
Friendly interface - a mouse is supported.
Simple interface - mouse is not supported.
Full compatibility - no one checked, but what the hell?
Release - beta version.
Features - glitches.
Optimisation - throwing out things that never managed to get working.
Outperforms counterparts - takes up more space.
Week - 1) month; 2) day.
Month - 1) half a year; 2) week.
Year - no idea how long.
Programmers and dogs
A Haskell programmer's dog poops only if someone needs fertilizer.
An OCaml lover's dog can put another dog in and get a third one.
The F# programmer's dog is very similar to the OCaml coder's dog, the only difference being that it only comes out of the house to walk through the window.
The lisper dog is constantly tangled up in its litter, but has the unique ability to poop without leaving any visible side traces.
A Perl programmer's dog is sometimes not even recognised by its owner.
The Python programmer's dog walks exactly four steps away from the place where it pooped.
A Ruby programmer's dog, according to vendors, shits only there and then, where the owner expects such behavior.
Sishnikov's dog constantly tries to bite the leg not only of the guests, but also of the owner, but a thrown stick is the fastest one to get. At the same time, the dog can make a mess in such a way that the whole house collapses.
Dog of PHP programmer shits absolutely everywhere and always, but its owner doesn't care about it, because such behavior is considered as normal.
The Javascript programmer dog cannot do anything useful, except blowing his whistle, asynchronously whistling his whistle, and launching snowflakes on the screen and showing ads. At first it behaves extremely unexpectedly for its owner.
The C++ dog in some way is similar to the C dog, but fatter and lazier (but with some useful features - for example instead of a tail you can attach another head to it, or vice versa).
The ghost of COBOL programmer dog scares other dogs at full moon.
The 1C programmer dog can't bark but it can speak Russian and understand accounting and has a bright yellow hair colour.
The dog of ABAP programmer is somewhat similar to the dog of 1C programmer, but it speaks German and costs 9000 times more. It also scares other dogs all the time, because its father was a Cobol dog.
The Java programmer dog can breathe oxygen, hydrogen, chlorine and even argon, and occasionally goes into a stupor and starts raking the room with crazy eyes.
A C# programmer's dog is like a Java programmer's pet, it feels good just looking out of the window, sitting in a room with hydrogen sulfide atmosphere. True, there is a legend that some dogs of C# lovers can also breathe oxygen, but they meow.
The dog of an Objective C programmer somewhat resembles the dog of a C programmer, but has a square head, eyes and tail in the form of @ symbols, and legs and ears in the form of square brackets. Formerly fed on pure carbon, it now eats only cocoa.
The Scala programmer's dog was born in a booth of a Java programmer's dog from a bond of OCaml and Smalltalk programmers' pets.
The Rust programmer dog lives in a crate, getting out only when someone drags him out and manages to constantly bite his master's leg when the latter tries to shoot himself in it, which, apparently, often changes owners.
The programmer's dog on Brainfuck doesn't look like a dog at all, and also suffers from masochism.
The Flash/ActionScript programmer dog is somewhat similar to the Javascript programmer dog, only it is very unfriendly to the owner of the mobile version of the Objective C dog. It can show videos and play with the owner, not capable of anything else.
Delphi programmer's dog, like C# programmer's dog, lives only behind a window in a room with hydrogen sulfide (though its feral versions can breathe everything that Java dog breathes, and mobile versions can breathe everything that Objective C dog breathes). Externally it looks like assembled from separate components, inside it somewhat resembles a C programmer's dog (if angry, it will try to bite if not a leg, then the owner's arm).
The LOLCODE programmer's dog resembles a nanny-cat, but can do nothing. It has the same size of brains as a C++ dog.
The Assembler programmer dog can reset bios passwords. Barks words like eax, edx, etc.
JPHP programmer dog - SOBA !!!!!1111!
The MS SQL programmer dog is good at looking for a stick, but only if the owner threw the stick at something other than the dog.