Interesting and Humour - page 585

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Mischek:
http://pervakov.livejournal.com/2264305.html
It's their own fault, they have piled on, their labour is now very cheap.
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A young couple walks in the park. No ice cream, water or flowers on sale.
A notice hangs up: "No littering, no spitting. The fine is 10 roubles.
The boy to the girl:
- Spit, it's my treat.
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Photographer Ivanov has abandoned the Western habit of suggesting that those being photographed say "Cee-ee-ee-es!" He knows from experience that a smile comes out much more naturally if the people being photographed say "Cee-ee-ee-ees!
 
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Two cats are walking. Towards them are two cats - one a gorgeous Siberian cat, the other a scraggly yard cat. One cat yells:
- The fluffy, fat one's mine!
Well, there's nothing to do. Girlfriend gets the scumbag one.
They meet again the next day.
- Listen, this homeless guy turned out to be such an amazing guy: he's got me both in the alley and on the street! And how's your fancy Siberian?
- What's there to tell? All night long he took me out on the rooftops and told me how he froze my balls off in Siberia...!
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The husband's wife sends her husband to the pharmacy to buy condoms, and adds:
- Buy me two droppers as well.
Husband comes back angry:
- I won't go to the pharmacy again. I ask the salesgirl for two condoms, she says:
- I don't have any. - I say:
- Then give me two droppers.
And she falls under the counter laughing hysterically.
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The neighbour's kid challenged me to a water pistol fight. I'm just writing this while the water in the pot boils...
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Two Martians stand and watch as the rover, completely delirious, frantically waves its cameras and probes back and forth across the planet, buzzing frantically.
- What's the matter with him?
- You see, there's a company on Earth called Microsoft...
 
peripatetikos:
Two Martians stand and watch as the rover, completely delirious, frantically waves its cameras and probes back and forth across the planet, buzzing frantically.
- What's the matter with him?
- You see, there's a company on Earth called Microsoft...
No credit, the last Mars rover had a VxWorks OS
 
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