Interesting and humorous - page 44
You are missing trading opportunities:
- Free trading apps
- Over 8,000 signals for copying
- Economic news for exploring financial markets
Registration
Log in
You agree to website policy and terms of use
If you do not have an account, please register
==============
It came out of my ear for some reason. Leonid, is this normal?
- Hello. In order to register with us you need to have syphilis. You don't need any documents. If you just want to make a free appointment with a dermatovenerologist, a passport and health insurance will be sufficient.
- And on the other?
- And on the other, your face is...
When a friend's birthday came around, we agreed that a large group of us should all meet shortly beforehand to come in and celebrate together.
Beforehand, I took the friend's intercom key ring and asked him not to open the door or answer the mobile phone at a certain time. I hid the key fob (which works remotely, like in the underground) in my sleeve. At the right moment, a few hand passes and a conspiracy of simsalabim and simsim open with his forehead pressed against the door brought the audience, especially the female sex, into wild delight with applause. The men figured it out quickly, while still in the lift ).
***
A woman was in labour, an angel came down to her and said:
- Do you want the father of your child to feel half of your pain when you give birth? She says yes. Her due date arrives and she gives birth. In the morning she calls her husband to check if he felt any pain, and asks sneeringly: - How did you sleep last night? Husband: - Not good, the neighbour was screaming all night, as if she was in labour.
***
Two men drink and drink. We're out of vodka. Money too. The boss says: anecdotes.net
- I'm going to print some money.
In the next room he has a small machine. Printed it. Bought some vodka. They continue to drink. And so on several times.
The next day they summon the boss to the KGB (or whatever it is now).
- Why are you printing money?
- I am not printing. I put the notes in advance. The machine just smoothes them out. They're as good as new.
- What's that for?
- To know who to drink with!
***
I wish that in their lives, when they're having sex, their girlfriend would stand up and say: -And now it's a commercial break!
>
What a load of crap. Is that what I was almost worried about? )))
In the butt. My own bath attendant. It's better to be alone than in this company.
- A kickback is the cash equivalent of a thank-you for choosing our firm in a tender.
- And what is a tender?
- A tender is an industry championship in kickbacks.
- Well done, sit down, six. Four for you and two you know where.
Let's write down the problem. Vanya had five apples. According to the documents. In fact he had 3, but in the contract he had 7.
Question: how many apples will the person who checks Vanya's business activities have?
Next question. The influence of family ties on corruption. Sanat.
- I didn't learn.
- Sit down, five.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Who can give me examples of corruption in history? No one knows? How many volumes of Dead Souls did Gogol document? Two. And he turned it in? One. Where's the other one? Burned! Now do you understand why our new computer room burned down? And why the gym is about to burn down?
One last question. Name me the perfect industry.
- Nanotechnology!
- Why?
- Because money is spent on results invisible to the human eye!
- Well done!
- Don't forget to tell the parents to give 500 rubles each to repair the classroom.
- 500 again!
- You'll give me 300. Don't worry, if parents ask, I'll tell them I collected 500. Goodbye!