Humour - page 89
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You should watch this film. http://www.ex.ua/view/14239230 Very interesting.
Thank you. I'll check it out. Found it on YouTube:
>http://www.utro.ru/articles/2012/09/25/1073831.shtml - Sochi 2014 motto named
A man is sitting at home watching television. The man is sitting at home watching TV, and his neighbour's moonshiner is there:
-I have to go away and the machine needs supervision, but it only needs jars to be changed and two buckets of water to be poured, and so every half an hour.
The first time he went all right, the second time, too, and then he goes to the third, and there cops write a protocol and ingratiatingly say to the man:
-Well, did you get caught? Come on, write your statement as a distiller.
So the man writes:
-I am sitting at home, watching TV: I feel the smell of smoke from the neighbour, I take a couple of buckets of water, just in case there is a fire, I come in and see: cops distilling moonshine.
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https://www.mql5.com/go?link=https://utro.ru/articles/2012/09/25/1073831.shtml - Sochi 2014 motto named
The word "winter" is translated into English in a very strange way.
The translation of the word "winter" into English is very strange.
Then here is a variant (of the logo for the slogan) :
- A kickback is the cash equivalent of a thank-you for choosing our firm in a tender.
- And what is a tender?
- A tender is an industry championship in kickbacks.
- Well done, sit down, six. Four for you and two you know where. Let's write down the problem. Vanya had five apples. According to the documents. In fact he had 3, but in the contract he had 7. Question: how many apples will the person who checks Vanya's business activities have? Next question. The influence of family ties on corruption. Sanat.
- I haven't learned.
- Sit down, five.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Who can give me examples of corruption in history? No one knows? How many volumes of Dead Souls did Gogol document? Two. And he turned it in? One. Where's the other one? Burned! Now do you understand why our new computer room burned down? And why the gym is about to burn down? One last question. Name me the perfect industry.
- Nanotechnology!
- Why?
- Because money is spent on results invisible to the human eye!
- Well done!
- Don't forget to tell the parents to give 500 rubles each to repair the classroom.
- 500 again!
- You'll give me 300. Don't worry, if parents ask, I'll tell them I collected 500. Goodbye!
Who's looking for work: schedule 2/5, salary 75000-100000, holiday 52 days -
Call me! We'll look together.
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I told my husband: "Let's get a civilized divorce like everyone else, quietly and peacefully." But no, he arrived drunk, with a harmonica player and a bunch of mutual friends.
--
- Petrov studied the literature on mental illness very carefully to get out of the army.
- And did he manage to fool the doctors?
- He sure did. He's been in and out of the nuthouse for 10 years.
---
A strongman comes into the arena, he does kettlebells, barbells and so on.
He takes a lemon and squeezes it in his fist to squeeze half a glass of juice into it. Host :
- Who can do it again?
A frail-looking, frail little man climbs onto the stage, takes the lemon squeezed out of the man's hands and without straining squeezes all the juice out into the other glass. Everyone is delighted but the strongman is in shock.
Host:
- Where do you work?
Little man:
- In the tax office!
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The girlfriend was jealous of her husband and a certain Vala, with whom he was always e-mailing. She got herself an e-mail account, put in Valya's name and wrote him a letter: "Honey, leave your fool, marry me! Your Valya. "He wrote back: "I'm already married to you, you fool! "Valentin is my boss!
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King, the dragon is hungry!
- What does it eat?
- Innocent girls.
- Pity the beast, he'll die on us...
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- Mum, my wife yelled at me again, I'm moving in with you.
- No, sonny, she has to pay for her mistakes. I'm coming to live with you
Chelyabinsk... city polyclinic, a worried woman asks the Chelyabinsk security guard at the entrance:
- Man, can you tell me, I'm looking for an inexpensive ultrasound for my sick husband, they said somewhere in your area?
- Inexpensive ultrasound? I don't know, I don't think so. Woman, it's $10 a round. It's easier to shoot him with a Kalashnikov.