Interesting and humorous - page 46
You are missing trading opportunities:
- Free trading apps
- Over 8,000 signals for copying
- Economic news for exploring financial markets
Registration
Log in
You agree to website policy and terms of use
If you do not have an account, please register
There's a way out of scrap
>A penalty system to educate bassists
Insult to music:
Playing loudly while warming up - $10
Testing the amp by playing slap in a funky style - $25
Loud mouthing after another foul - $10
Playing on the thinnest string above the 12th fret after a faff - $20
Practicing teppin' with both hands in the breaks between songs - $20
Requirement to give 'E' for tuning - $25
Playing 'E' even though the brass section plays 'B flat' - $50
Playing a part written out on a separate sheet of paper - $50
Couldn't play a sheet music part - $75
Signed note names above sheet music - $50
Signed measure numbers above sheet music - $50
Playing eighths $5 each
Playing sixteenths $10 each
Played above the 1st octave - immediate dismissal
Pushed a fast tempo - $75
Drove the ballad tempo - $100
Falling behind in ballad tempo - $200
Ignoring the tempo set by the drummer - $100
Matching clearly with the drummer - $250
Asking to read something off-key - $100
When playing the double bass:
Appeared on stage just before the first strong beat - $25
Process of playing, apart from the notes being extracted, includes other sounds - $25
Turning the instrument around its axis - $25
Slap playing - $150
Not hitting a common accent, then mentioning the advanced age of the instrument - $25
Excessive sweating - $25
Playing long pedals on two strings at the same time during a wind section solo - $50
Asked band leader to play solo - $30
When offered to play a solo, agreed - $50
Singing along to the second chorus $100
Playing a solo with a bow - $400
Pretended to tinker with the instrument after failing to hit a note $100
Playing the "Train" song code in each song - $200
Playing the extended "Train" song code in each song - $500
Playing the electric bass:
Fixing my hair in the pause between songs - $15
Experimented with unequal measures - $25
Failed to hit the tonic at the end of a rapid transition - $25
Playing with a plectrum - $50
Tuning the guitar while playing a ballad - $30
Playing samba to jaco groove rhythm - $75
Playing a ballad to jaco-samba groove - $150
Trying to play anything after the last chord - $50
Playing anything after the last chord - $100
Long glissando to last note - $200
Offending by actions - electric bass:
Forgetting a guitar strap at home - $10
Changing strings after each run - $15
Using an electronic tuner - $15
Plugging in a microphone "just in case" - $75
Forgot to plug in your amp - $40
Using an amplifier bigger than 1 person can carry at 1 time - $50
Asked a trumpet player to help move an amplifier - $25
Brought a master bass - $100 for each string over 4
Brought in more than 1 bass - $100 for each extra bass
Skull stickers on instrument - $150
Brought in a fretless bass - $500
Bad taste with criminal intentions:
Telling the drummer about all the parties he's been to - $10
Telling the drummer about all the parties the drummer has been to - $15
Sitting at the drum kit during breaks - $10
Quoting Poderewski - $25
Playing exercises as scales between songs - $25
Playing exercises as scales during percussion solos - $50
Playing exercises - $150
Starting to say "When I was a guitarist..." - $50
Accidentally informing the director of the cultural house that you are using a phonogram - $100
General dementia:
Wearing an old t-shirt with a picture of Buddy Rich on it - $10
Wearing
a new Whitesnake T-shirt - $20.
Asking when the concert starts - $20.
Constantly asking "where are we?" - $25
Shouting "Yeah!" all the time. - $25
Asked the guitarist when to play - $50
Hearing a flage, trying to answer a mobile phone - $100
>
>
>
>
===================
I happened to look at a thread on one of the forums discussing the ILAN 1.6 Expert Advisor. I read only one - the very last post. It was enough for me to choke with laughter for a couple of minutes! I decided that the post (in support of the EA) is worthy of this thread:
----------------------------------------------
K@terina:
Ilan more often than not makes 100% than leaks!
... If we were to monetise funds from demo accounts, this coefficient would be even higher.
Ilan is losing every 2-3 months consistently. Sometimes he drains the deposit right after the start. From observations during this time: the price always comes back. Always. Just not enough money each time to "sit out" the drawdown.
--------------------------------------------
P/S - the quote reminds me a lot of the story of the gypsy who trained a horse to do without food. It was quite a bit like that... Just a little bit left to go. But the trouble is, the horse died...
I was pleased with my brokerage today. It showed quotes for all the quid pairs up to 2037. I'm wondering what to do about it)