Interesting and Humour - page 4314

[Artyom Trishkin]

Sit for a week and think about it for next time.

Politics, insults and other slurs are not welcome here.

Be human. If you want to shit, you should do it in a dedicated resource.

[Sergey Savinkin]

Yuriy Asaulenko:

But, in general, that's the hard life of an intraday worker. As long as you sit and stare at the monitor, nothing happens. As soon as you step away, you get it.

Can't you use alerts?

[Yuriy Asaulenko]

Sergey Savinkin:

Is it too much of a problem to use alerts?

Of course it does. But first you have to calculate them, which in short trades is not a trivial task. It's a very multifactorial process.

[multiplicator]

[Vitaly Murlenko]

The Russians have come up with a way not to pay their bank loans.

"The residents of the Nyurba district of Yakutia were the first to come forward with such an initiative. Several people at once embarrassed employees of the regional FSB department by sending them letters with competent explanations as to why they were refusing to pay the loan. Such information, referring to the media, is quickly spread by bloggers.

The content of the statements is approximately as follows: "I, so-and-so, took a loan from a bank, but at the time I did not know that the bank's founders are foreign companies whose head offices are in NATO member states. I am not against repaying the loan, but I cannot, because these actions fall under Article 275 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, namely, providing financial assistance to a foreign state, international or foreign organization or their representatives in activities directed against the security of the Russian Federation. Then there is a note that by law the persons who committed crimes under this article are exempted from criminal responsibility if they have informed the authorities about it. The whole thing is spread over four pages, with detailed substantiation.

Now the FSS is thinking about what to do with these statements. On the other hand, if a precedent is set, a big scandal can break out. Counter-intelligence officers have ten days to make a decision. "Considering that the founders of the network companies are registered in Cyprus, the Cayman Islands, etc. (but not in Russia) - soon we will be able not to pay the utility bill. No need to help your enemies" - that's the spirit in which people in social networks comment on the news, which seems to have found general approval among residents of the country.

Stolen from the Internet, apparently there is a reason for such a formulation.

[Dmitry Fedoseev]

[Vitaly Murlenko]

A married couple is at the doctor's office.

After the examination the doctor asks the husband to come out and tells the wife:

- Your husband is terminally ill! In order for him to get well, you need

to feed him well every day for six months,

whatever he wants, give him a warm bath, give him

massage him, dress sexy and exciting for him, watch

watch his favourite programmes with him and go for walks with him, never

Do not make him nervous and do whatever he wants!

If you are willing to do all these things, then your beloved husband will live

for many, many years to come. On the way home, my husband asks:

- Well, what did the doctor say?

Wife, grimly:

- You're going to die soon...

[Vitaly Murlenko]

An elderly Caucasian man comes into a shop and approaches the clerk:

- Sell me two suits.

- Granddad, why do you need two? You are already eighty years old. Take one, enough for the rest of your life.

- I'll take one for me and one for my dad.

- Listen, if you're 80, Dad must be 100-105 years old!?

- Yes, you're right, it's just that at Grandpa's wedding we want to be dressed up.

- If dad's 105, then grandpa must be 130!? Does he want to get married?

- He doesn't want to, his parents are making him!

[Vitaly Murlenko]

An introductory lecture at a technical university. The professor says:

- Let me start by explaining to you what an engineer is. So, imagine a factory where every day they bring a truckload of alcohol for maintenance. There is a huge tank, where they pour the alcohol in. Near the tank sits accountant, which gives out alcohol, strictly according to the bill (the tank has a tap). In the evening the rest of the alcohol is discharged through the same tap. I pose the question: how do you steal alcohol from the plant?

The stunned students start coming up with theories.

- And now the answer, says our professor, is that the engineers put a bucket in the tank. As a result, the bucket was filled when the tank was filled in the morning and after the alcohol was drained, the bucket was taken out and drunk. Now let's study to be engineers.

[Iurii Tokman]

Vitaly Murlenko:

An introductory lecture at a technical university. The professor says:

- Let me start by explaining to you what an engineer is. So, imagine a factory where every day they bring a truckload of alcohol for maintenance. There is a huge tank, where they pour the alcohol in. Near the tank sits accountant, which gives out alcohol, strictly according to the bill (the tank has a tap). In the evening the rest of the alcohol is discharged through the same tap. I pose the question: how do you steal alcohol from the plant?

The stunned students start coming up with theories.

- And now the answer, says our professor, is that the engineers put a bucket in the tank. As a result, the bucket was filled when the tank was filled in the morning and after the alcohol was drained, the bucket was taken out and drunk. Now we're going to be trained as engineers.

and we were taught to wipe the boards with a "thin layer"

The alcohol would be drunk and then you'd breathe on the board to get a "thin layer"...

and then you could wipe the board