Interesting and Humour - page 243
You are missing trading opportunities:
- Free trading apps
- Over 8,000 signals for copying
- Economic news for exploring financial markets
Registration
Log in
You agree to website policy and terms of use
If you do not have an account, please register
One family was lucky to get a cat
He was given to them as an adult, free of charge. No sleepless nights in the cradle, no teething, no paediatricians, no other adult applications. One whole cat unmuddled by parenting. The family was transfixed, sobbed enthusiastically, and named the cat Borenka. Four times. And then it somehow became unimportant.
A distinctive feature of the cat was bottomlessness. The cat ate. In the maximum sense of the word. As if he was not eating for himself, but for all Greece in crisis. He was dashing around the kitchen with a striped tank, pushing children away from the table together with the stools. He grinded his own, found and stolen food with his brisk meat grinder. He even didn't let a mosquito pass by - he caught it and ate it with a gourmet's face.
We tried to feed him twice as much. The cat gratefully digested, munched, grew strong and stole twice as much. At the same time the cat happily purred something resembling "Life is good, miaow!"
When Borenka quietly, on tiptoe, snatched a kilo of frozen stuffing and pounded it behind a curtain in the bedroom, without defrosting and together with the package, it became clear that the family had missed a name for their impudent horse. That's how Borenka became Borsel. According to the head of the family, the cat became known by a much more obscene name, but with the same general meaning - "you fucked up!
Borzel was equally adventurous at stealing sausages and lemons from the table. At supper he practically climbed with his outstretched paw into his master's mouth and with this paw took the olive out of his master. He sucked fried cutlets right out of the frying pan. In flight, he peeled off the latch on the kitchen door and the lids off the pots. The family was anxiously awaiting the arrival of the cat in the fridge.
In the second month, the cat realised: anything that falls to the floor, by virtue of the human toad, becomes his food by default. The vigilant family immediately began dropping food much less frequently and even learned to equilibriously catch anything falling within an inch of the floor. The cat solved this problem by jumping onto the table with all four paws on the plate, in one motion transferring the food into the food category without the floor. If there was borscht on the plate at that time, Borzel would playfully splash in it and then lick everything and everyone around until it was sterile clean.
One night the head of the family bumped into Borzel in the corridor. He was carrying a loaf in his teeth, wondering where to put it. In the cupboard or under the sofa. Thinking about the investment was interrupted by a mate from above. When the owner tried to tear the loaf from the cat, it turned out that they were fused at the hump and did not want to separate. One of the two of them even beat the man.
In the end, it seemed to everyone that the cat was looking at the grandmother carnivorously. And the head of the family thought he was working on food for the cat and sedatives for the others. The internet was consulted. The search engine on the query "the cat is a fucking thief and eats" instantly turned up a photo of Borzel with six metres of strangers' sausages dragging its trail, and below - the links with the tips about how to fight.
For example, about sprinkling unpleasantly wet water in the cat's mouth and throwing metal cans with clattering coins in it. According to experts, cats don't like splashing and noise so much that they immediately re-educate themselves. Some of them even begin to do curtsies. But it's important to do it discreetly, so that the cat will not realise who's naughty and smack you reproachfully with the paw stolen from him.
Borzel, of course, didn't notice who was splashing. He was busy. But he was glad of the water. Had to have something to wash down the cutlet he'd just had. Granny was frightened by the noise of the jar of coins and had to sprinkle a little from the sprayer. The cat moved the can away from the cutlet with its muzzle and continued to munch on it at the same rate.
The methods worked on my grandmother, by the way. She refused to eat or knit for a while. The method of installing motion sensors and poison crossbows around the perimeter of the kitchen was rejected at once. Because of the same grandmother. Decided to defend the area around the table the old-fashioned way, with a broom and a swift kick.
At first Borzel was surprised, then grunted, looked down on everybody and dropped his alarm clock from the fridge into the salad... Thus for the first time in the world the alarm clock became a drop. The last one.
The cat was torn from the mausoleum of food, dragged with difficulty and abuse by the scruff to the door, and with even greater difficulty and abuse was launched into the open approaching space. Not far, no further than the mat. I was too tired, because I had fattened myself up to the size of a dwarf sheep, and in addition to being unfathomable, I became a badly thrown man.
Finally, the house was at peace with the constant cutlets. Granny started knitting and eating again. The head of the family relaxed enough to indulge in winter fishing. The three days of idyll flew by quickly, like a metal can through a kitchen.
On the fourth day at breakfast, the family discovered a sight comparable in beauty and excitement to a Kenyan sunrise and payroll. Outside the window, on a net with a frozen catch, swaying in the wind and emotion, was Borzel. Hanging and munching. Just once he set his willful gaze on the choking family and continued to chew the fish tail out of the stone.
No one could tear Borzel away from the bag. Hugged, they were carried into the kitchen and laid in a corner to thaw. And we were watching the systematic filleting of the eight kilos of bass, and suddenly we were moved to tears. After all, if you're lucky with a cat, it's forever.
(from) dobraya_veda
Nice mug - no way it fits less than 2 litres. I want one just like it.
China has banned comments on the internet
This is not very surprising. It's interesting in another way:
Тогда власти закрыли целый ряд социальных сетей, и тем самым освободили дорогу для их конкурентов. У Weibo сегодня насчитывается 300 миллионов пользователей, а у QQ - целых 711 миллионов.
Twitter and Facebook are nervously smoking...
I'm not going to argue, but I think it's possible to prohibitprivate messages until certain conditions are met.
https://www.mql5.com/ru/forum/6434/page13#comment_174880
https://www.mql5.com/ru/forum/6434/page13#comment_174880