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Traders joking, the beginning - page 690

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Failing to return a book on time could result in 30 days in jail. So remember, kids: If you want to stay out of trouble — don’t read.


Matt Lauer interviewed Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton back-to-back in front of a crowd of American veterans. The winner, the leader who came off strongest and best last night, was Vladimir Putin.


The two partners from a small law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them looked alarmed.
He announced, "I have to go back to the office right away! I forgot to lock the safe!"
"What are you worried about?" asked the other. "We're both here."
According to new research from the CDC, middle-aged parents are more likely to smoke marijuana than their teenage kids. In other words, your mom finally made weed uncool like she did to Myspace.


The use of marijuana by older Americans has skyrocketed. It is up 455 percent since 2002 — which, of course, is the year Oprah made it one of her Favorite Things.

Among seniors 65 and older, monthly marijuana use is up 333 percent. That's just Willie Nelson.



Fox News anchor Chris Wallace, who will be moderator for the final presidential debate of election season, said in an interview this week that he doesn't feel it's his job to call out the candidates when they lie. "Super!" said Hillary and Donald at the same time.


My dog does that. He also grooms himself like a cat although his joints don't bend that way since he's a dog. I think it has to do with the fact that he grew up with cats.
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