Interesting and Humour - page 2085
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Greedy beef.
Oh, you don't say.
It's finally snowing.
It's finally snowing.
Feet in Concrete CJSC provides a service to remove compulsive and unscrupulous individuals from the lives of those around us. Our team does not provide a preventive service. We help where all else fails.
If you require methodical outreach, fraud prevention or a general karma cleaning, you can turn to our partners, Take Out to the Woods Ltd.
Packages
Satisfied Submariner Package
The structure is concreted in a plastic bucket with a volume of at least 15 litres, no lower than the upper edge of the tibia. This ensures excellent girth and guarantees your safety (customer's).
We use a concrete mix of grade 400 or higher with a setting time of no more than 60 minutes.
After 120 minutes of concreting we carry out a test hanging of the client by hand grip.
The total weight of the reinforced tubular bone structure is at least 200 kg (with the average weight of the client being at least 70 kg). If the Client weighs over 120 kg, we recommend the use of the Premium Package, which includes a trough with a minimum volume of 40 litres, for your safety.
Before diving in the body of water, the UAB specialist feeds the Client to prevent bloating and blisters.
During the dive, a team of specialists carefully supervises the process to avoid surfacing or other mishaps. If the client resurfaces, we will upgrade to the Premium Package free of charge, which includes an increase in concrete load up to 150 kg (plastic trough volume of 40 litres).
Hali-gali package
This package includes the use of large construction equipment ("Kamaz" ABC 58149Z and "Kamaz" 65115). A concrete mixer truck ABS 9DA is temporarily unavailable). The tank is filled by 30 % with a mix not lower than class 300. The customer is given a tour of the city for at least 20 minutes, followed by pouring it into the foundation of a luxury apartment building within the city centre.
As an additional option, we can mark the Client's pouring location on Google or Yandex maps.
Sweetie bag
A specially shaped funnel is inserted into the Client's throat. A special, vanilla and chocolate-flavoured, preservative-free, fine-dispersion cement solution is prepared to fill the Client's throat.
The filling process takes between one and three minutes, depending on how full the Client's digestive system is. We take care that vital organs are not damaged during the filling process. For this purpose, splash-protective goggles are worn on the face.
Daring Snowboarder package
We get the client into the correct snowboarding position (feet parallel to each other, feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent, back straight). A cast-iron helmet (about 15 kg) is placed on the head. The pouring mould (which from afar resembles a foreign-made snowboard) is filled with concrete, grade 400 or higher, up to the lower edge of the fibula.
The Client starts with a slide with an incline of at least 45 degrees, with a descent length of 300 metres or more. Please note that there is no additional option as ski poles. The availability of clothing on the Client is agreed in advance, but is not recommended.
The Client's family or next of kin receive an entertaining video chronicling the event.
Chronicle of the founding of CJSC Feet in Concrete
It's finally snowing.
Bears like to play on stumps.
Bears like to play on stumps.
I was in Geneva once and bought a clock there (in the centre, in their Swiss watch shop). It was a beautiful wooden cuckoo clock. The shop said it was their Swiss watch. The clock worked (and still does). I came home, started to hang it on the wall, turned it over on the other side - and it was written in small letters - Made in China