The London Open - page 113
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It's Christmas so I think we all need some Christmas cheer so here is my helping:
A true story (with a little embellishment, censorship and dilution)
As we all get older things start to slow down and not work as well as they used to. “It’s the wheels falling off”, my mate tells me. Well one of my problems is certain things are getting weak and have lost their strength and power with no more thrills or excitement. My mates say I need to get a younger one and then everything will be like I was a teenager again. “But I’ve been with her since I was 16”, I said. “That’s why you need to get a younger one – gets the blood pumping again”, another mate said. “OK, you find me one and I’ll give her a try”, I said jokingly. Well 2 days later, my mates called and said it’s all fixed for Saturday! “Bloody hell, now I’m in trouble”, I thought although I did notice a stir in the old loin cloth. “We’ll take you for lunch first as you will need all your strength”, they said. “Oh, and don’t put grease on your hair – leave the Brylcream in the jar, and don’t wear that jacket with the velvet collar, or those drain pipe trousers or those beetlecrushers with the big fancy buckles – in fact dress as if you lived in the 21st Century” my best mate said. “Cheeky bar steward”, I thought and him older than me!
Well Saturday came around and down the Irish Bar we went. They insisted I eat meat as I will need the protein to “do my stuff” so we scoffed Shepherd’s Pie or was it Cottage Pie? I can’t remember whether it was a sheep or cow that we ate. This was suitably washed down with 2 pints of the black stuff. “Only 2 pints mind”, one mate said. “You need enough to put some lead in your pencil but not too much that you can’t perform.” Visions of a tilt in my kilt sprang to mind.
They drove me to dark alleys and places I had never seen, or heard of before and pulled behind a tall old building. My best mate ran to the back door of the building and said something to the guy answering the door and then motioned for the rest of us to come. Escorted by the rest of me mates, I entered the building where I was met with loud music and the sound of jollyment. Their contact inside the building ushered me to a small, but well lit room, and me mates gave me the thumbs up sign and wished me good luck. Sweat was already beginning to form on my face when the guy brought her in.
“Bloody Nora”, I trembled. She was a young, stunningly gorgeous sunburnt blonde (we are in Southern California) with a round voluptuous body and the first thing I noticed was her pair of (censored). They too were a golden blonde colour and I knew I had to get my hands on them. Her slim long neck and sweeping curves were crying out for me. Sensing that I was frothing at the mouth and trembling with passion, the guy left and closed the door behind him. Suddenly I was struck with a fear of “Will everything work OK”, and with the door now closed I put my hands on them. Soft yet firm they were and as I moved further down her bronzed body I saw her black bits and I could tell I was turning her on. Then it happened – it all came back to me just like I was 16 again – the pulsating, the throbbing, the screaming, the thrill, the excitement, the pure adrenalin rush. It was magic, absolutely bloody magic, electric in fact. I gave her a real good f, f, f, f, f, fu, fu, fu, fu, fun time and a bloody good thrashing! I didn’t want it to end but I knew I couldn’t last forever and in one final thrust and burst of excitement it was all over. I managed to last about 15 minutes but I was covered in sweat and well and truly knackered.
Then something strange happened. Normally after such events, I look over at her and think “That was good but now you can go”, but this time, even though I was well and truly spent, I still wanted her. Just as I was running my hands down her body to touch her black bits again, the guy came back in and told me he could arrange for her to spend the rest of her life with me. “I’ve died and gone to heaven”, I thought, “How often does an old rocker get to spend the rest of his life with such a beautiful young thing?” “I’m immortal, I can walk on water” I said. Then I remembered this was real but then fear came rushing in. “ I don’t think I can do this everyday for 15 minutes even though I want to”, I thought, “I may never see my 3rd 21st Birthday! I made a feeble excuse that with the current financial climate, I couldn’t do it but he was persistent and made the arrangement even more attractive. Then WHAM, BANG, LAM, TUTTI FRUTTI it hit me slap between the eyes! GUILT! My guilty conscience reminded me of HER back at home. She will be 50 next February and I’ve been with her since I was 16. “How could I do what I did and think what I’m thinking” the little man in my head said. I thought of her old, flat hard body and remembered her pressing against my belt buckle and started to compare her with the young blonde who had just brought life back to the old fella. “I love her”, I said, “And the young one too”, “What am I to do?”, I thought.
Just then me mates came back and when they saw the young beautiful blonde covered in my sweat, a smile from ear to ear appeared on each of their faces. “Had a good time then, did you?” one mate said. “Aye lad I did”, I said in my best half Scottish accent. “Well get her in the car, pay the man and let’s break the news to the old hag” another mate said. “But I can’t do it”, I said “She’s been with me since I was 16 and I really, really love that old flat hard body” “ I just knew it”, me best mate said, “All that loud rock and roll music has done your ‘ead in!” “If you don’t do it now, you will never, ever do it and I may never speak to you again! He shouted.
“So be it”, I replied and with that I picked up the Gibson Les Paul Custom Shop model 2008 guitar and gave it back to the guy in the Guitar Centre. I told him that I preferred my 1959 flat, hard bodied Fender Stratocaster which I have had since I was 16. “You will never find another blonde sun burnt finish with the best pair of pick ups, slim neck and the black bits on the edging at this price again” he said. “I know”, I said, “But the only fault with my Strat, due to it’s old age is that the pick ups are weak with no strength or power.
“I can fix that”, he said, “I can let you have 3 Stevie Ray Vaughan humbucker pick ups with the fattest sound ever” but then seeing my sour face said, “Or lacer sensor pick ups as used by Clapton and Knopfler”. “Who?”, I said. “And then you will have to learn Pentatonic, Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian, Locrian, Dorian, Phrygian scales, hammer-ons, pull-offs, finger tapping and get yourself a Marshall 500 Watt Amp!”, he continued.
“And wear make up and black mascara and eat bats – no thanks”, I said, “I’ll continue with her just as she is, after all, she was last insured at $35,000 and if I mess with her she could end up worthless!”
Now where are my Buddy Holly glasses, Roy Orbison sunglasses and Chuck Berry duck walk?
Merry Christmas everyone and let's wish ourselves a very, very successful and profitable 2009
Morning all
Morning report below...
GBPJPY and CABLE looked best for downside.
2 days left of trading for 2008
Gold – Boxed in between 4hr 20ma and 50ma. If the Daily Pivot breaks look to short into 4hr 50ma. If not, look to play break on upside above the 60min 50ma
AUDUSD – Similar. Boxed between 4hr 20ma and 50ma. Play break
EURUSD – Boxed between 4hr 20ma and 50ma. Still looks heavy and as long as it remains below the WP look for a possible short down to the 4hr 50ma. Stop above the DP and 4hr 20ma. A break of the 15min 50ma will confirm down move
CABLE – 4hr 20ma crossing the 4hr 50ma for a bearish sentiment. Look for break of 15min triangle to test DS1 on downside
EURJPY – Depènds on EUR as a whole but any break below the 60min 20ma look to sell into the 4hr 50ma. Likewise any break above the 60min 50ma look for a move back to the MR1 level
GBPJPY – Look to play break down below the 60min 20ma.Happy pip hunting.Da
Morning
Theres 175 pips in CABLE and 180 pips in GBPJPY plus looking at EUR and GOLD. CHF were great as well this am...
A few extra pair of shoes for the misses.
See ya later
Dan
Hi
Watch EUR weakness against the JPY and USD.
2 good breakouts could happen here.
Dan
Hi
Glad to see quite a few of you take EURCHF, EURJPY and EURUSD... Worked out for a few cheeky pips...
Well done to you all and what a team we are building... Cant wait for 2009 and get you all as many pips as possible...
The live room is very enjoyable and i love the teaching.
As they say... Its all about the pips!!!
Happy Christmas.
Dan
Dan,
Happy Christmas to you and Le petit famile. Enjoy the quiet in 2008 as I am certain 2009 will be a bit different. Thanks for all of your help and support. Not trading anymore this year. Taking an early bath and will be enjoying the remainder of the year with mince pie and port. Put up the Christmas tree, decorations are up and the wine cellar is fully stocked. Now thats a nice way to see the the pips being spent!
Thanks again, and I look forward to my first 1000 pip week in 2009.
Rockdrive
Market for few days will be unexpected as the market will be closed and traders will enjoy their holidays.
My fxsniper cci's have died (says out of date and comes with supplied email address) and fx's email address doesn't seem to work. Anyone else having this problem?
Thanks.
Hi Guyz,
Here is my version, exactly the same, just drop into indicators folder.
Andy
thanks for that MrLong. appreciated.