Traders joking, the beginning - page 681

tim
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tim  
John Seekers
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John Seekers  
With the basketball players not being in the Olympic village, it means they're going to miss out on all the sex. Because I don't know if you've heard this but the Olympic committee announced they'll be handing out 350,000 condoms and 175,000 packets of lube. Or as Brazilians call that, "A weekend."


Mawreen Lawson
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Mawreen Lawson  
Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching.
John Seekers
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John Seekers  
According to a new study, millennials are having significantly less sex than previous generations. I know, like, wait, you're telling me that the people running around trying to catch Pokémon aren't getting [any action]? Shocking! I'm shocked.

John Seekers
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John Seekers  
Apparently, the conditions in Rio are so bad that the U.S. basketball team has opted against staying in the Olympic village dorms, and is instead staying on a cruise ship that they've docked in the harbor. Now, I understand not wanting to stay in the Olympic village, but why would you switch to a cruise ship? You basically traded a diarrhea city for a floating diarrhea city.


John Seekers
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John Seekers  
You know if Trump becomes president, he's definitely going to make his birthday a national holiday, right? "Sorry, Lincoln, you're a loser and you are out."


tim
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tim  
Mawreen Lawson
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Mawreen Lawson  
Two traders are walking uptown from Wall Street en route of the subway. A mugger approaches them with a gun and demands all of their money. The one trader turns to the other and says, "Oh, by the way, here's that $100 I owe you..."
John Seekers
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John Seekers  
Trump and his party raised $82 million last month, much of it from small donations, with supporters pitching in $10 to $25 apiece. And they can feel good knowing that every dollar will help Donald Trump reach his ultimate goal — attack ads against Paul Ryan.

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tim