Traders joking, the beginning - page 619

 

I met Osama Bin Laden once. I said 'did you know, your name is an anagram of A Lesbian Nomad

 

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My friend Kim is on every single dating website. She refers to them all as the "husband directory" but behind her back we call it the Screwfix catalogue.

 

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Child obesity is a big problem for everyone, like my uncle for example.

He's had to get a bigger van.
 

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A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides. The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk.
 
A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry.
 
In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that she would investigate UFOs, and said that aliens may have already visited Earth. When he heard that, Trump said, “Forget the wall. We need a dome! Just build a huge dome. A huge classy beautiful dome! We'll make the aliens pay for the dome.”
 

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