Traders joking, the beginning - page 617

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I was terrible at spelling when I was at school.

Brilliant at mattermattics, though.
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"Watson! I've overdosed on Immodium!" "No s***, Sherlock.”

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The jumper I got for Christmas kept picking up static electricity so I took it back to the shop and exchanged it for another one free of charge.
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I'm getting lazier as I get older.

For example, I used to trim my toenails every week.

Now I just wear bigger shoes.
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I worked out that on average I sleep with a little over three people every week. You could say I'm Pi-sexual

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The wife suggested we try a bit of role-reversal this evening. I feel sick to my stomach.

And I've not even finished the first box of chocolates yet.