Traders joking, the beginning - page 601

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I read about a pub in England that has 15 cats that just walk around, so you can play with them while you drink beer. Customers said it's really fun and cozy, while the bar's owner…has been dead upstairs for months.
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Lately, Trump has been pretty cranky about losing his lead in the polls over retired neurosurgeon and "Guy who sits next to you in an otherwise empty theater," Ben Carson. Evidently, people have been looking at Trump and thinking, "Maybe we shouldn't elect a man who shouts crazy things. Maybe we should elect a man who whispers crazy things."
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The man who invented ibuprofen said that he knew it worked when he tested some out to cure a hangover before giving an important speech. While the man who invented Viagra unfortunately also tested it out before giving a wedding toast. “I COULDN’T be more excited for you guys! I just caught the bouquet!"
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CBS actually ended the debate seven minutes before it was supposed to finish. Or as Bill Clinton put it, “Oh my God, you're home early!”
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In Pope Francis' latest weekly address, he criticized people who use their phones at the dinner table. Which begs the question: Who is on their phone while they eat dinner with the Pope?
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Donald Trump went on Twitter today and mocked Ronda Rousey for losing her fight this past weekend. In response, T-Mobile's CEO said he'd pay to see Trump fight her in the ring — at which point, Trump started building a wall around himself.