Traders joking, the beginning - page 584

 
New research shows that monkeys enjoy movies, and can even follow plot lines. So if you're keeping score — that's monkeys: one, my mom: zero. "Who's he? Is that the bad guy?" "It's a commercial, mom."
 

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Hi I don’t suppose you could help me. I’m trying to commit suicide by having too much sex.

 

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Hillary Clinton went on “Meet the Press” yesterday, and I saw that Chuck Todd actually showed her a video of all the times she's flip-flopped on issues. At first Hillary said she felt bad about it, but now she says she feels OK about it.
 

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Next month Delta will begin opening company spas at certain airports so that employees can get a massage. And if passengers want a massage, they can just leave their keys in their pockets when they go through security.
 

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Donald Trump told The New York Times that he's only been getting four hours of sleep a night. In other words, even Donald Trump lies awake at night worrying about a Trump presidency.
 

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