Traders joking, the beginning - page 431

[seekers]

A man was arrested yesterday after the garbage bag he was carrying split open and a human head fell out. If he’s convicted, the man could receive a two-week suspension from the NFL.

[tim079]

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[Peeter Woolf]

My stockbroker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it’s his!

From a trader after a market crash: “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”

[seekers]

You can't make pirates and birds fight each other. That's like making Jay Leno fight classic cars. Or Nicole Kidman fight Botox.

[tim079]

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[tim079]

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[seekers]

A bachelorette party missing since Monday after a hurricane hit has been found and safely returned to California. When asked about the ordeal one of the girls said, “We were screaming, everything was spinning, there were bodies everywhere — and then the hurricane hit.”

[seekers]

The White House picnic was actually held one year after it was canceled. Last year the president had too much stuff going on to make time for a picnic, whereas now he just doesn't care anymore.

[tim079]

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[pavaka]

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