Traders joking, the beginning - page 589

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They're saying that Republican candidate Ben Carson made a number of serious mistakes as a neurosurgeon and even left a sponge in one patient's brain. When asked how it affected his life, the patient was like "It's fine, I'm still running for president. I don't care. Everything's great. It's gonna be huge."

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Ultimate fighting champion Ronda Rousey is mad at Justin Bieber because Bieber refused to take a picture with her little sister. Bieber's funeral is tomorrow.

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A California mom is being sued because her son told everyone at school that Santa Claus isn't real. Yeah. What makes the story even worse is that her son goes to UCLA. He's a physics major. He's 21.

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There's an event company that specializes in fake weddings. Like the one Kim Kardashian had with that basketball player.

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The Nobel Prize for literature was given out today. Tomorrow they award the Nobel Prize for Peace. Apparently the way they let a nominee know they won is they call them on the phone and say, "You won." A lot of the winners when they pick up the phone don't believe it; they think it's a prank call and they hang up. If I had any smart friends I'd call to tell them they won the Nobel Prize every single year, which is probably why I don't have smart friends.

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