[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 828
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This guide was prepared by the specialists of the movement
To move the market by 100 pips, you need a terrorist attack with a charge equivalent to at least 50 kg of TNT and 1-2 Boeing 747 aircraft.Choose the timing of the operation according to the market sentiment and indicators.Taliban Traders
(for internal use)
Do not play against the trend, as a reversal of the market trend requires a more powerful charge, possibly with "stuffing".
Don't pipsqueak. it is better to use 50 kg of plastic once than 10 times 5, as you lose a few points of spread and broker's commission on each transaction.
Don't forget to issue orders to the broker to close positions. Don't take hostages for more than 3 days and don't forget about overnights.
10 phrases that are usually followed by a complete stock market failure.
● Stock prices have finally reached a level they are unlikely to break
● All analysts can't be wrong at once!
● There is no threat to the Dow Jones Index right now.
● The odds of that happening are one in a million!
● Let's hope it gets better tomorrow.
At least it can't get any worse!
● I'm sure we've hit rock bottom.
● It's most likely just a correction.
This method of analysis always works.
No need to panic!
One to the other: Have you finished your KVAS?
The other one: Who's been drinking KVASDOP?
You're all KVASDOPILS here!
A bunch of guys at a kiosk drinking KVAS.
One says to the other: have you finished your KVAS?
Another one: Who's been drinking KVASDOP? Am I the KVASDOP drinker?
You're all KVASDOPILS here!
Two climbers:
- Hey, back it up!
- You back me up!
- That's what I hear from the safety net!!!!
You guys wouldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it myself. I googled "what if" and this is what it gave me
You guys wouldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it myself. I googled "what if" and this is what it gave me
I got different results from Google, apparently a relevant search works:)
I'm freaking out.
I'm going to go berserk.
Well, they've done it. It's a bogeyman's bogeyman.
What happens if you throw a crowbar down a train's toilet at full throttle
So we set off on the reserve track. Nearby the railway station we did not risk to carry out the experiment, but on Topljaky passing track we found a good flat lot for starting up the train, and the object of the experiment - an ancient coach for 36 seats, with the coat of arms of the USSR on its board. As a locomotive used not less antique shunting locomotive. Certainly, it would be desirable, to assemble more powerful train, but the pusher from the freight locomotive was not unhooked - it had an hour before dispatch.
So Stepanenko, the driver, got into the cab of the locomotive. Eugene and I settled comfortably in the lavatory of the coupe car. We prepared a piece of pipe, a crowbar and a shovel-head to throw it all down the toilet. Zhenka manually moved both arrows leading to the straight section and connecting the tracks to the next big turnoff.
A drunken conductor is in principle not as dangerous as a drunken driver, but when the alcohol and the driver took on a soul, I got creepy and drank a glass too.
Raphael Stepanenko started the engine. The train started to move in such a way that the slipping discs rattled. The shunting locomotive managed to gain an acceleration only up to seventy kilometres per hour, though by subjective sensations it was a hundred and forty.
- Well... God bless!!! - Evgeny crossed himself, put the handle of a shovel into the range and depressed the pedal.
A crackling sound was heard. The conductor bent down from the pedal stroke on his leg. Something rumbled beneath the floor and subsided.
- That was it," I wiped the sweat from my forehead and waited for the worst.
- And now! - spoke a delighted Bargin, who had entered into the role of the great tester. - Our death-defying trick! Throwing a crowbar into a train's toilet at full throttle!
I came out of the toilet and stood in the doorway of one of the compartments. Zhenek put the crowbar into the toilet bowl, stepped back to the toilet door. Now instead of pushing the pedal, he hit it with a piece of pipe...
There was a terrible thunder, as if several dozen vehicles collided with each other at full throttle. The wagon shook and rocked, the floors rattled, everything rattled and vibrated. The brake pads squealed and the train started to stop. My legs were aching, because I was methodically hit from underneath by the bouncing wagon. Bargin was swearing profusely the whole time, holding on to a table in the compartment.
- It's over!!! - I shouted when the death train finally stopped.
- Fuck, it could have been a train wreck! - Zhenka finally sobered up.
- Well, naturalists, are you alive? - asked the brave Raphael Stepanenko, climbing into the vestibule.
On examining the toilet, we found that the toilet bowl had split, a couple of lugs had broken off, the rest had been bolted out. The pedal had fallen out of the crevice and was lying bent next to it.
But the biggest surprise awaited us on leaving the car. One wheel on the rear platform was deformed, the one next to it was not in place at all, only the dangling alternator belt was sticking out.
Several concrete sleepers had crumbled, and the rails on the side where the deformed wheel had passed looked like a giant file - all nicked and pitted. The total amount of damage to the railway was a million roubles. But there was no proceeding. Together we plastered the sleepers with cement mortar, bolted the rails together and returned the wagon to the dead-end. Generally speaking, it had not been in use for at least ten years, so nobody cared about its malfunction. The scrap, by the way, was never found.
I'm freaking out.
and it all started back in 2007 or so =)
http://forum.ixbt.com/topic.cgi?id=77:5985