[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 533

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sergeev:

What kind of results... my accountant husband lived, invested in shares. then he died, and in ten years the value of the shares became very high. my grandmother just has a capital of 1 mio - if she sells all the shares.

And if she earns 5-10 thousand, he's selling off his shares :)

Among all the stock exchanges and natural markets there is one scam - a casino, namely, forex. So, for advertising purposes it is mentioned where it does not exist.
 
Tantrik:
Among all the stock exchanges and natural markets, there is one scam - a casino, namely forex. It is mentioned where it is not, for publicity purposes.
That is partly true. This market is a scam for those who want to make money on it. But if you do not look for profit in it, it is a very necessary market.
 
sergeev:
that is partly true. The market is a scam for those who want to make money from it. But if you don't look for profit in it, it is a very necessary market.
That's not partly true, it's just true. Apart from the banks there is no one there - everyone is trading, working through the banks. And in general, banks could adjust rates, for example, once a day and it would not affect exporters, importers in any way.
 

Couldn't resist - there's nowhere else to put it but humour - I want to share what friends have shown :)))

>
 
alsu:
Countryman?:))
leonid553:


No, I'm in Samara ....

======================


I remember that sign - it appeared there two and a half years ago. The funny thing is that after that... ...all the way to Arkhangelsk - and that's more than 500 km!
 

This video is not humour. I put it here because there's nowhere else to put it, but I wanted to share it. Man, I'm going to be afraid to swim without a knife.

>
 
Judging by her face, she's deep-sea and not from around here. But it's certainly safer with a knife in the evening. :))
 
Here's more video on this shark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajlL3eRpicw&feature=related
 

husband, rummaging in the wardrobe: you can spend the new year the way you celebrate it, right?
Wife: Sort of.
Husband: I'll put on underwear without a hole!

***

There are always gypsies hanging around the bus station. When they see
a naive enough person, they surround the victim and they're all over her. Once
I saw a gypsy woman who saw a simple-looking woman and started
"tell everything."
She was wrong - the aunt turned out to be a Jehovah's witness. She had the dignity
and pulled out a stack of pamphlets and clutched at the fortuneteller
into the fortune teller. Only the whole tabor could fight her off.

***

xxx:Woke up now, and naturally went to fight the dryness in the kitchen.
xxx:I went to the kitchen and there is a huge puddle in the middle of the room, and a friend is sitting at the table nearby and is strongly scratching his head. I ask him: "How come?" He slowly handed me his phone and turned on a recorded video.
So where did it come from?
Fuck... We drunkenly brought home a snowman
Ooo:Ooo

***

<NN_was> drunk for five days... the reasons were good: the LAST MONDAY OF THE DECADE, the LAST MONDAY OF THE DECADE, ... and the LAST FEBRUARY OF THE DECADE :)).
On the last day I got depressed: I was running out of excuses...
and suddenly I realized: the next day is the FIRST SUNDAY OF THE NEXT TENNIUM!!!!! :))))

***

I downloaded an electronic bible. There's all sorts of menus at the top, and one of them's called "Contact the author! "I don't feel comfortable clicking it.....

***

Vasya's worried, one...
Petya worries-two...
Kolya worries-three...
Masha goes to the ultrasound...

***

The car service. The client looks at the invoice and asks the foreman:
- Can you tell me what this item is: "Rolled" - 10000 rubles????
Master, bummer:
- It didn't work. So cross it out.

***

The cops are getting really cocky. They come up to me yesterday and ask me:
- "How come you don't have a car?

***

A big shot drives his guests around, shows them his new house. They come to an art gallery. The owner brags:
- "That's the picture Rostropovich drew. And that green one over there.
- Hvorostovsky painted. And Spivakov did that one and that one in the corner too.
One of the guests didn't understand:
- Aren't they musicians?
- Vovan, when I tell a man to "paint", he paints!

***

Three girlfriends met, gossiping:
- Guys, I've learned a new pose, it's amazing. It's called a rodeo.
- What's that?
- You lay a man on his back, sit on top of him and tell him you have syphilis. Oh, ladies, the key is to hold on!

***

- Do you know what the fuck is?
- No.
- it's the enter button for people who can't read english.

 

the shark is simple: http://www.floranimal.ru/pages/animal/a/2459.html

But how did it get into the Black Sea?

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