Traders joking, the beginning - page 660

[tim]

[John Seekers]

The Department of Defense is using computers from the '70s for the system they use to authenticate the launch of nuclear weapons. If anything went wrong, we'd have to call in Matthew Broderick. If he's in the middle of a show, how long will it take?

[Mawreen Lawson]

The markets may be bad, but I slept like baby, every hour I woke up and cried. :D

[John Seekers]

It's being reported that a surgeon in Nebraska successfully completed three heart transplants in 34 hours last month. The doctor was like, "Hey, three out of 10 ain't bad."

[John Seekers]

Beverage maker Capri Sun has announced that it will be releasing an all-new line of organic juice pouches. No word on how it tastes, because nobody's been able to get the straw into one yet.

[John Seekers]

A city in South Wales is on alert following reports that local sheep may have consumed marijuana from an illegal grow operation and have begun breaking into homes. So if you live in Wales, be sure to lock up your Doritos.

[tim]

[tim]

[John Seekers]

Memorial Day weekend: the unofficial start of summer and the official start of people thinking they look good in shorts.

[tim]