Traders joking, the beginning - page 642

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A new poll found that the majority of millennials would vote for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Then millennials found out you can't vote by texting and said, "Never mind!"

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Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg have signed on to make a new Indiana Jones sequel set for release in 2019. It will be like the other movies, but now when he cracks his whip the sound is actually coming from his knees.

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Selena Gomez just became the most-followed person on Instagram with almost 70 million followers. When reached for comment, Kim Kardashian said, “I can't get any more naked, guys. I’ve shown you everything I got.”

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The hacking group “Anonymous” has apparently declared war against Donald Trump. Of course, hacking him shouldn’t be hard, because if there's anyone who just uses their name as their password, it's Donald Trump.

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Apparently, after, St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland and then he went to Mexico and drove the worms into the tequila bottles.

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A doctor in the U.K. yesterday admitted misconduct charges after he accidentally performed a vasectomy on the wrong patient. Apparently, the patient was pretty upset when she woke up.

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A Michigan woman was arrested this week after she bit a Walmart employee who tried to stop her from shoplifting. Luckily the other employees were experienced in dealing with Walmart customers and quickly sucked the venom out.