Traders joking, the beginning - page 464

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I haven't figured out gift cards. It's kind of like saying I care about you, but not enough to leave the line at Albertson's to find a real gift.
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This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, “Whichever comes first.”
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A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
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Today is a "No Joke" day

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Over the weekend the co-chair of Sony Entertainment broke her silence about the recent hacking scandal to apologize for some offensive emails she sent about President Obama. In response, Obama said, “Don't worry. I secretly read those emails months ago."
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During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, “Never paint your wife or your mother.” Then he added, “Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.”