Traders joking, the beginning - page 461

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The birthrate in the United States is at an all-time low. Whereas our death rate is still holding strong at 100 percent.
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Two gentlemen in the club:

A: When I started to invest with my financial advisor, he said that he has the experience and I have the money.

B: How it ended up?

A: Well...now I have the experience and he has the money.

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Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a gas station. They're being charged with attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC.
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The trailer for the new "Terminator" movie came out today. Arnold Schwarzenegger, as you may know, is back. Said he'd be back, and he is. A man of his word. In this one he goes back in time to stop Phil Collins from launching a solo career.
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tim079  

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This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this, China's children asked, "So now can we take a lunch break?"
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csc2009  

Interviewer: What is recession?

Candidate: When “Wine and Women” get replaced by “Water and Wife” that critical phase of life is called "Recession”.

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There was a press conference in England announcing the new James Bond movie. It's going to be called "Spectre." they unveiled Bond's new car. It's not even out yet. They have not even made it and Jay Leno has two!
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The Bond girl this time is Monica Bellucci. She is very beautiful. She's the oldest Bond girl ever. She's 50. You know they are going to make a big deal out of that and give her a name like Ivanna Playbingo. Or Miss Menopausy. Anita Supplement. Havna Hotflash. Eileen Onawalker.