Traders joking, the beginning - page 443

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It was announced today that the head of the TSA will retire after 31 years. I guess he wants to spend his time sitting around doing nothing instead of standing around doing nothing.
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Warner Brothers has announced 10 new movies based on DC Comics. Finally, Hollywood is giving comic book movies a shot. Between DC, Marvel, and some smaller comic book companies, they're projecting around 40 superhero movies by the end of the decade. We need a superhero to save us from all these superhero movies.
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New York City has a terrible rat problem. As a matter of fact, today the mayor, Rick de Blasio — no, that’s Bill de Blasio — said every rat that comes into New York City must have its temperature taken.
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Apple announced a new generation of iPads and iMacs and a new operating system. They also announced that there's no such thing as the Apple Watch. That was all a joke. Actually they said the Apple Watch is coming out early next year, which is funny because they already announced the Apple Watch last month. So now we're getting excited when Apple reannounces things to us.
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A gang member turned rabbi has been arrested in New York for impersonating a police officer. A gang member, a rabbi, and a police officer. He’s basically a one-man version of the Village People.
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A group called Clowns of America International — how does that name make any sense? — is criticizing the FX show “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” saying its portrayal of clowns feeds into the fear of clowns. Yeah, "Clowns of America International." Even ISIS said, "Now THAT is a scary group!"