[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 653
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Saw this picture, laughed too)))) Related:
>
Saw this picture, laughed too)))) Related:
- Look, the baby isn't eating well, she's crying.
The doctor looks and looks and asks:
- What kind of feeding is the baby on, artificial or natural?
- Natural.
- Well, then take off your clothes.
She undresses, the doctor looks and looks at her breasts, kneads and kneads...
- Of course, you don't have milk!
- Actually, I'm his aunt, but I'm glad I came to see you...
a woman with a baby, goes to the doctor and complains about the baby's many illnesses.
doctor: - take off your clothes.
She: - Doctor, it's not me, it's the child who's sick.
Doctor: - I got it. Undress, undress. It's easier to make a new one than to treat one.
=============
I go out to the kitchen in the morning, about to make coffee. When I noticed that it was me and not my wife, the cat, which had been walking around the flat since 4am and wanted to eat, became sad,
turned away and began to stare intently at the pattern on the tiles. I put the kettle on and took out his liver:
- Well, what a shabby lemur, are you hungry? - I asked.
- What did the painter mean by the drawing of the bunch of grapes? - replied the cat.
- Are you hungry, I asked?
- Hmm, what's this on my leg.
- Eat it, you munchkin! Eat it, bitch.
- What? Who? How you doin'? Get it off me! Pfft, I can't, I'm going to die.
- I'll kill you, you bastard!
- Uh-oh. The ponytail... I wonder if it's mine.
- Well, fuck you.
Wife appears in the doorway. The cat makes a stand and starts smiling (f*ck I will). Wife:
- Did you feed the cat?
- He don't eat shit.
- Maybe he's sick.
- Meow, I'm healthy. Totally healthy, young, beautiful and very hungry. Yum, yum.
The cat purrs and spreads his ears to make more room for petting. Wife starts to feed it right out of her hands, saying:
- Bad man, he does not let Murzyku eat, do not feed him once, so he will howl for the whole house.
- Mur-mur, shoved some trash in my face, threatened to throw it out the window, and was rude.
- ♪ he's a bully, he's a bully, he's a bully ♪
And the cat rubs his wife's hands and licks her fingers. And when he's fed, he retires regally to his bedchamber. When he passes me, he stops and shakes his paw as if
as if he had stepped into something.
A week later my wife leaves to visit her family for almost a month. The cat has not been told anything yet... Hee-hee
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