[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 37
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BLACK_BOX писал(а) >>
kombat wrote >>
Interesting quote from one article ...
... Already after one year of work with EC and SM machines we were even embarrassed to recall the primitiveness of mathematical model, which was the limit of that integrator. But it was written off and discarded only five years later, when we moved to another room (all that time five litres of alcohol were written out every month to "wipe the contacts" of the integrator)...
You can laugh, but all those integrators and ECs didn't work without a lot of alcohol! For those who don't know why, it's a quiz :)
Старый но очень хороший мульт,может кто не видел
LOL! LOL!;))) Thank you! Mood for the evening! ;)))
Можете смеяться, но все эти интеграторы и ЕС-ки без большого количества спирта не работали! Для тех, кто не знает почему, это задачка на сообразительность :)
9 litres a month for SM-4, 3.5 litres for microscopes in the laboratory. The laboratory had a year's run, the norms for microscopes were taken from medicine, one wipe = one injection. Sometimes the suppliers would bring medical instead of technical, that was a holiday! And once we received alcohol in a benzene barrel completely unsuitable for its primary use, so every person had a 10-liter canister in the garage and on a nice day we arranged a show of washing parts with alcohol outside the garage gate. A crowd of men would gather there and we would wash and invoke: "Who drinks industrial alcohol, it's only for wiping!
And as for the reinsurance with the electric panel, it was done right. What if the chief had stumbled and grabbed the cupboard door with his other hand? No knowledge of physics is automatically transferred to motor functions.
In autumn 2008 the mass media introduced synonyms instead of the words "crisis" and "devaluation" - well, let's say "crisis phenomena" and "financial turbulence". A timid conjecture also emerged then:
"In order not to violate the prosecutor's order, the president started a video blog".
So from the very beginning, financial humor has been spreading, as real, i.e. forbidden humor should, unofficially: on the Internet, where the latest jokes and charming "photo jabs" were posted.
Unlike the 1998 crisis, the current one is home to the US and its developed market. It appears that politicians have nothing to do with the crisis, which is why it is hard to find any sharp jokes about officials, unlike the events of 11 years ago. Back then, Boris Yeltsin, young Prime Minister Sergei Kirienko (nicknamed "Kinder Surprise"), and the unforgettable Viktor Chernomyrdin ("Who would have thought it?" said Chernomyrdin, but no one volunteered) were all in vain. But during the past crisis year, only the anniversary was remembered:
"We don't have a crisis in Russia. There is only a holiday - the anniversary of the default.
There was talk about our traditional ways out of deadlocks:
"In Russia, two scenarios are possible: the worst and the unlikely.
They recalled old jokes, adapting them to the new realities: a once-popular joke about a New Russian turned into a story about a banker:
"The banker sleeps like a baby. He wakes up every half hour and cries.
In general, humour about banking is very popular. Among the jokes there are both local and imported jokes that fit very well into the Russian context. This fact confirms once again that the current crisis is global and Russia is perfectly integrated into the global economy.
"Went to the ATM today to get some money, but it asked me for a twenty till Sunday".
Or the international story of the optimist:
"Who is the optimist? A banker who makes five shirts a week in advance on Sunday".
The pessimists tell this joke:
"Conversation at the bank:
- You know, I want to buy a small business.
- Better buy a big one and wait a bit..."
There are also accurate historical observations:
"A History of Modern Russian Capitalism in Two Volumes. Volume 1. Ponts. Volume 2. The Failures."
If we classify anecdotes, there are household, bank, market and office anecdotes. Among market anecdotes (i.e. stories about the stock market) both foreign and domestic are in circulation:
"John Smith, after jumping from the 75th floor of a Wall Street skyscraper, hit the ground and jumped up three floors, recovering several points from the fall."
The Russian version:
"The economy has bottomed out and started to dig in.
Similar stories are happening everywhere:
"An investor asks his adviser:
- Is all my money gone? Every last penny?
- Why is it gone? It just belongs to someone else now".
The changes in the labour market over the last year can be traced not only through dry statistics, but also through humorous sketches and anecdotal stories.
"Crisis trends: it used to be fashionable to have a mobile phone, but now s a work phone".
"The "pitch transition" from employees to employers is keenly felt with just a few stories.
"Congratulations to company employees. "For their excellent work in the first half of 2009 the opportunity to continue in the second half of the year is given."
"Director to subordinates:
- You're all complaining about the crisis, but by the way, your salaries this year are 75 percent higher!
- Excuse me, higher than what year?
- Than next year..."
"There is a knock at the office of the director of a recruitment agency. Director lazily:
- Who is it?
- Top managers.
- Why are you knocking? You stomp, stomp+"
There is a positive in the crisis - that is, a healthy start:
"The financial crisis helped me get back on my feet. The bank took away my car for non-payment of my loan".
video (avi, XVID, 640X480, 26,5 MB)
"We Are The Champions"
in the Mordovian language, performed by the Rosichi Song Theatre
Intro:
(there are variants in other languages under the 'Similar video' tab)
![]()
Sorry about the bird, great cartoon.<W> ***, I'm going to bed now) I'm so cold alone))
<M> yeah, I do ...
<W> :"> but what do you want now?
<M> honestly?
<W> yes)
<M> for a start i would like to have a meal, you know? a normal meal, not to chew these boiled fried dumplings with ketchup! it's economical but not every fucking day! then i need to rewire 2 contacts and finish the website to go with you(!) to a restaurant this weekend, to have a normal meal there so you finally give me one! in 4 months it's about time! i am not saying that i have to do all this hungry in one night and tomorrow morning when you say "sat on your internet again" i will say something like "do not worry, i love you more than the internet"! and again i will think that i want to eat and sleep instead of wandering around in shops!
<M> sorry, I'm really sore =/
<W> really like it?
<M> yes. very much.
<W> Meet me, I'll be right there :-*
ххх: воскресенье, будучи слегка на веселе, нашел дома кулек сухофруктов. Дай думаю компот сварю. Сварил, фрукты все равно никто не будет есть, решил отцедить. Поставил дуршлаг в раковину и слил жидкость. Долго стоял над раковиной в ступоре, много думал...
Vital!
+100!
Haven't laughed like that in a long time.
With tears...
Thank you!