Traders joking, the beginning - page 523

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Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you something. The fake suspense is killing me.
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Churchill Downs, which hosts the Kentucky Derby, has banned the use of selfie sticks this year. Officials say that if you want to block someone’s view of the race, just do what everyone else does and wear an insanely giant hat.
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The thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it's usually won by the horse from Kenya.
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A Florida man is suing a hospital for throwing his right leg away after it was amputated. The hospital says they're not worried about the lawsuit because the man does not have a leg to stand on.
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Today Carly Fiorina announced that she is running for president. Someone else bought “CarlyFiorina.org” and posted 30,000 sad emoticons to represent all the people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard. I haven't seen that many sad, blank faces in one place since Hillary Clinton speech