Traders joking, the beginning - page 518

 
BMW’s new Deluxe 7 Series will allow drivers to simply press a button on their key fob to make the car park itself. And because it's an expensive BMW it'll park itself across two spaces.
 

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A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally a medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day.
 

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The CDC is advising that Ebola survivors should abstain from sex. And if you're having trouble abstaining from sex, a little trick you could use is telling people you had Ebola.
 

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Recently a guy was having trouble with his computer. So he unplugs it, takes it out in the alley, pulls out a gun, and shoots it eight times. Coincidentally, that's how Hillary got rid of her emails.
 

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New Yorkers, each one on average, create 15 pounds of garbage every week. Of course, that goes up if you're disposing of a body.
 

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