Traders joking, the beginning - page 366

Peeter Woolf
236
Peeter Woolf  

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* You sell 1 and buy a bull.

* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

* You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more. Sell 1 cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

BRITISH CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* Both are mad.

tim079
1902
tim079  

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seekers
3960
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George Clooney is engaged to be married. How about that. Good for George. Another success story for eHarmony.com.
Peeter Woolf
236
Peeter Woolf  

SPREAD:

The only reliable way to make money on the FX market, which is why your broker charges you one.

seekers
3960
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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently back smoking the crack. There is a picture of him smoking the crack and a videotape is out as well. Is there a videotape out there of him not smoking crack?
tim079
1902
tim079  

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Craig Gardiner
200
Craig Gardiner  

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3960
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This year the Colorado symphony will host a bring-your-own-marijuana concert series, called “Classically Cannabis.” Or if you don’t like classical music, you can attend the bring-your-own-marijuana concert called “any other concert.”
seekers
3960
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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s lawyers said that he will take a leave of absence to seek help for substance abuse. Though they didn’t say whether the substance in question was crack or gravy.