Humour - page 377
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Going through some old papers, I came across some student correspondence from lectures - poems all over the place. There were some good ones.
Skinny speeches, that's the first hump.
For three days I've eaten nothing but bread in the canteen.
Just shaky patties in a shake with raw water
And sometimes a little piece of chicken... (с)
Victor, maybe it's old age. :-)
P.S. It's been a long time since I've been here (in the humour branch especially), so don't judge for February... :-)
Always be strong and never give up. If you ever give in to weakness, life will take advantage of it and set you straight M@il.ru Agent...
On the subject of logical errors in programming:
The wife went to the shop and told her husband:
- When you boil the dumplings, throw them in one at a time so they don't stick together!
When she came back, the angry husband was boiling a sixth dumpling...!
- Private Ivanenko! Left foot up, right hand forward, step into the pit! Private Petrenko! Arms out to the side, head sideways, step into the pit!
A passing major notices it:
- Comrade Warrant Officer! There's no discipline in the company, and you're playing Tetris here!
I prefer borscht.
I can give you a recipe. I'm making Uzbek pilaf tomorrow. Any tips?
No thanks.
)
1. A businessman came to a Mexican village:
- I buy local monkeys for 10 pesos a piece.
There are lots of monkeys around, and everyone sells the primates wholesale and retail for 10 pesos.
2. There are fewer monkeys, then the businessman says he raises the price to 20.
The villagers got tense, caught the last of them, brought them back, and handed them over at 20.
The very last ones were taken for 25,
3. Then he announced that he wanted more and already at 50!
He left himself, but left the manager.
4. The manager says:
- How about this: I give you these monkeys back quietly for 35, and when the boss arrives, you give them to him for 50...
People are happy about this freebie - they borrowed a lot of money and bought all the monkeys back for 35.
5. The next day, the manager disappeared after the boss, and people were left without money, but with the monkeys.