Interesting and humorous - page 247

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moskitman:


))). )))

so not only are you an ugly man, but you're also evil...
 
alexx_v:
so not only are you a scary person, but you're also evil...
Nah. He's a cynic.
 
Contender:
Nah. He's a cynic.

It comes to mind:

"- Daddy, your son smokes-smokes-smokes-smokes!
- What, so often?
- No, only when he drinks.
- So he drinks too?
- Only when he loses a lot at cards."

 
alexx_v:
so not only are you a scary person, you're also evil.
Contender:
Nah. He's a cynic.

A Mayakovsky spoof:

I'm pissing
and looking
into the toilet
laughing

♪ I'm
blue
pissing ♪

And the end of my
is
pink.

And anyway:
я
Satisfied
with myself!

 

It reminds me of a joke:

A man walks into a bar, sits down at the bar and shouts at the barman:

- A glass of port!
The barman pours and runs the glass down the bar at the far end. Suddenly a monkey jumps out from somewhere, wets his *** in the glass and runs the glass on. The man, not understanding anything, still drinks the port and shouts:
- Bartender, another one!
Then the same thing happens - the monkey comes out again and pours his *** in the glass. The man yells indignantly:
- Hey, barman, your monkey's pissing his *** in my glass!
- It's not my monkey, it's the pianist's monkey!
Man walks up to the pianist:
- Hey pianist, your monkey is pissing his *** in my glass.
The pianist cheers:
- Oh, I got it, I got it! - And he starts to play: shake, shake and sing along: "your monkey is wetting his *** in my glass." ....

 

Boketto (Yap) - the act of staring senselessly and prolongedly into the distance

)

 
It's not sushi, it's forshmak.)

As soon as you mention this dish in Odessa, you immediately hear the word 'grandma'. "My grandmother used to make it", "you can't make it like my grandmother's", "I haven't tasted it since my grandmother died", or "the neighbour's grandmother treated me", if some Odessan happens to have no Jewish grandmother (regardless of his nationality, this is almost impossible). And granddaughters have forgotten this dish en masse - and in vain!
It's as simple as a plastic soap dish, good as a cold snack, and as a second course (best with boiled potatoes), and it's not any worse than it was in 1913.
It is a real, not fake Jewish dish, which deserves all the attention.
The name of the dish itself is simply touching - "anticipation". In German it's pronounced "forshmak". The nostalgia of the word just oozes. So I am going to run from nostalgia to Privoz - to fish market. Let's go sadly past sturgeon, zander, mullet, plaice and many other fish and choose salty herring, not the most parade one. That's what forshmak is for, that any herring a poor Jew can buy is good enough for it. Two herrings big enough - all other components are calculated on them.
Separating herring fillets, I soak them in milk overnight. My grandmother used to soak it in an old tea brew, but she still added milk.
In general, soak it in whatever you want, even water. If herring is not very salty you don't have to soak it at all.
Now boil three eggs, separate yolks from whites. Add ground black pepper and allspice to the yolks. A teaspoon of mustard, two tablespoons of vinegar (apple or grape vinegar is better), two teaspoons of sugar, a quarter of a cup of good vegetable oil, and grind it all well. Meanwhile, soak half a loaf of bread with the crust cut off in the same milk.
Next, the meat grinder works mostly. We skip herring, mix it with yolks and all that with yolks, and skip it again together with two sour apples (antonovka will do nicely), two medium onions, some whites and soaked bread (don't forget to squeeze it). Once again, mix well.
Now the ikebana itself is left. We put the product into a herring pan, sprinkle it with chopped green onions and decorate with the rest of the egg whites, some greens and whatever you want. It's up to you - I'm not going to limit you in any way.
You can eat it any way you like. I, for example, spread it on bread and butter, but you can also just use a fork on the plate. You eat forshmak first - for appetite, that's why it's called forshmak. You can even snack on forshmak with a glass of good cold vodka. Vodka can also be drunk with forshmak. Yes, you'd better take one of them, otherwise you won't get out of the enchanted circle. Forshmak is a great thing, and it will be remembered, loved and eaten in Odessa even when there are no Jews left in it. Put the rest in the fridge and eat it tomorrow, if you can stand it. If you don't, take it out of the fridge and finish it. You'll be like me, sitting there thinking, "I think I ate too much." But you won't regret it - like I do now.
(From the memories of an old Odessa man).
 
+Infinity
 
evillive:
There are many well-known pyramid schemes and brokerage companies where people also successfully withdrew their change. And the first attempt to withdraw a more or less significant amount ended in tears.

I never noticed any problems with withdrawal of about $ 5000-$ 10000 from well-known brokerage companies.

I never noticed any problems, but one brokerage house called me in 8 years with a stupid question: Why do you withdraw...

I was very surprised by the question - at first I even wanted to give them a little nudge like: "Have you divided the money amongst yourselves yet?

They really think that the money deposited in the VC is already theirs!

 
moskitman:

No, Sash, this time I'm giving out loans to people. I am amazed that you can borrow dollars at 1.5% a day, but they, the idiots, do it!

I am happily rubbing my hands together and comparing it to Forex. Well, clearly not in favor of the latter occupation ))).

P.S. Note that except for Humor I have not written anywhere else.

:-) the risk is ... but with a large customer base and small amounts the risk is negated ...

The joke comes to mind:

A Jew is sitting by the bank selling sunflower seeds. Another Jew comes up to him and says:

- Moyshe, lend me ten rubles.

- I can't. I have an agreement with the bank: I don't give loans, and they don't sell sunflower seeds.

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