Humour - page 72
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Five things a woman should do in her life:
1. open her eyes to her friend
2. Give in to a moment of weakness.
3. Take the money with the words "Scoundrel, what do you take me for?!
4. Lose 3 kg.
5. After carefully studying her husband's mobile phone, find out who Oleg Nikolayevich is.
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- Darling, what can I get you for your anniversary?
- Give me a holiday in Cuba.
- Well, and the cube from what material to make?
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According to official figures, the average wage in Russia is 257 euros. And how is the average taken? - Is it, like, the boss eats meat and I eat cabbage, and together we eat cabbage rolls?!
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Attention! To all on the site "odnoklassniki": Please do not be photographed near cars, at resorts, etc. It's very difficult to assess income levels. Just take a photo with your income certificate for the last 12 months.
IRS.
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- Don't make me angry, I'm scary in a rage!
- You're not much of a...
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Searching a man's place - they found a still.
- Well! Says the policeman. Goody for you! We'll get you for distilling moonshine.
- I didn't make it!
- But you've got a still, haven't you?
- Then prosecute me for rape, too!
- Did you rape someone?!
- No! But you have a machine, right?
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Breakfast time. Wife to husband:
- Are you sure you've forgotten what day it is?
- Nonsense, I remember perfectly what day it is,' replied the husband and dashed off to work.
At 10:30 the front doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she saw a large bouquet of red roses on the doorstep.
At 1:00 p.m., the bell rang again. This time it was a box of her favourite Belgian chocolates.
At 3pm it was a chic, designer dress.
The wife barely waited for her husband:
- Oh! Darling! First the flowers, then the chocolate, then the dress! This is the happiest Airborne Day of my life!
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Probably humour after all ?
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Abbot Timothy has already been fined seven times for speeding http://www.baltinfo.ru/2012/09/06/Igumena-Timofeya-uzhe-sem-raz-shtrafovali-za-prevyshenie-skorosti-302560
http://www.ntv.ru/novosti/330325/ Abbot Timothy is grateful to Patriarch Kirill for his support
http://www.ria.ru/tv_society/20120906/744616907.html (Abbot Timothy refuses to sign the accident report)
Friday's eye-roller
A big bearded biker on a motorbike knocks over a little sparrow, the sparrow collapses and passes out.
The biker felt sorry for the sparrow and took it home, put water in its cage and crumpled up some bread.
When the sparrow woke up, he saw the grate, bread and water. So he decides: "Killed the motorcyclist."
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As reported by news agencies. Tagged "urgent"!
FSO officers have applied to the Moscow mayor's office for a rally in protest. Against the non-payment of promised remuneration for participation in the combined flight of cranes-sterches shooting.
A big bearded biker on a motorbike knocks over a little sparrow, the sparrow collapses and passes out.
The biker felt sorry for the sparrow and took it home, put water in its cage and crumpled up some bread.
When the sparrow woke up, he saw the grate, bread and water. So he decides: "Killed the motorcyclist."
I designed, cleaned and assembled the keyboard myself!!!
I also disassembled and reassembled but I did not have a second keyboard to assemble it, found a screen keyboard typed in a search engine as a keyboard looks like this =)
P.S Maroko little silicon pipettes to collect it pisses me off =)
Daddy has a simpler way of dealing with children: he puts them in a bag and rinses them in the bathtub ©
The keyboard costs 200 roubles, so I threw it away and bought a new one.